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Illusional Dreams
I was once a kind, caring girl
Who showed it everyday
But then I met you.
I couldn’t believe in all this pain
I couldn’t believe I would feel so drained
Again and again I reflect on this
Again and again you never missed
Again and again I stand here waiting
It doesn’t matter where I go
I still see the same painting
Yea, an image I can’t get outta my mind
I’m losing myself, the light is hard to find
Everytime I think I see it
I wake up and realize it’s just a dream
My whole life is turned right upside down,
Now all I want to do is scream
I scream inside never outside
I don’t want people think I’m mentally ill
But you know what maybe I will
Just once. No! Twice. Ok, maybe a couple of times
The ones that love the mentally challenged
Are the ones with the real hearts
Those relationships to me never seem to fall apart
Again and again I’m dreaming
Again and again I’m screaming
Again and again I’m punching through walls
Again and again I love seeing my ex’s fall.
God damn, I don’t want to head down this path
But you see it’s the only one I see open
I prayed to God to give me faith and hope
He’s the only one who knows the aftermath.
But there’s just one problem
And I can’t seem to solve them
When I think I fixed it ,
I get stuck in the same problem
Even though I’m still breathin’
It feels like I’m drowning
And I come back to being a heathen
Again and again I’m going crazy
Again and again can somebody save me?
Again and again man, I’m getting so lazy
Again and at the end, I’m still day dreaming
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This piece I wrote was about my feelings of a break up. It started out to be only to let go feelings, but I began to flow with it and write other things on how I felt. I began reciting it to others and they told me to continue it to see where it would lead.