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Puppet
I used to be your puppet but not anymore.
You used to be the master controlling my strings
I used to be your mindless doll
I used to be a toy on your shelf
From the moment the new guy walked in the house I was just your ragdoll.
Your puppet, your means to control everything in my life
I've never been more than a tool for you.
But not anymore I control my own life.
I've finally cut all my ties with you
I've finally learned one simple word N-O
No!
I refuse to be used.
I refuse to be drug around
You can't do this to be any more
You can no longer choose my path for me
Mom, I can't hate you
But I hate the things you've done to me
You've lied to me, you've broken me, you've broken me into a million pieces
Yet I don't feel complete without you
I wish you would just leave me alone
Every time you text me it's like a new wave of depression
I try to smile on the outside but it's so hard to hide.
Hard to hide all the pain you've caused me.
Hard to hide all the pain you make me feel
Your love feels so forced
Your love has always been something I had to earn.
Attention was always scarce
Conditional, that's what your love is
So to get your attention I played Pinocchio
You'd tell me not to lie then turn around and do exactly that.
You'd expect perfection from somebody who isn't perfect
You wanted a princess
A cute little lady
Someone proper and pristine
But instead, you got me.
Not proper, not pristine.
Nowhere near a princess
I'm somebody who doesn't do their nails
I rarely wear dresses
Someone who doesn't care about the girly things people say I should
I don't go to salons to get my hair in braids
I don't go to salons to get my hair washed
I go to get it cut. I go to get it dyed.
I wanna look unique because that is what I am
I'm not what you'd expect from a broken person
The more you break me the stronger I get.
So Erica leave my world and destroy your own.
It looks to me like you're good at that
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My mom is a controlling person and i had a hard time letting her go. Because she's my mom.