Diagnosed | Teen Ink

Diagnosed

March 27, 2021
By AnneHargraves BRONZE, Daphne, Alabama
AnneHargraves BRONZE, Daphne, Alabama
4 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
Often it's the deepest pain, <br /> that causes us to grow into <br /> your highest self.


I wanna flee,

turn my back on hardships.

I wanna scream,

Because I know I can't turn back.

See I thought that beauty is the pain,

And the pain feels so good.

But I'm cutting me,

Piece by piece.

So one touch, will shatter me.

 

I lay on the floor of the bathroom,

lights pouring down on me.

On the cut that looks to be seven feet deep.

And my necklace is my friend,

I wear it so prettily.

I won't let myself breath, 

Not until it kills me. 

 

I'm stuck in a box, making me queasy. 

Trapped to my left, 

And all sides of me. 

March in place, then do it again. 

I know a monster, 

and he is my friend. 

 

Looking over inch of me, 

Poking and prodding. 

Never can believe, 

in the, "you are who you are." 

I'd rather be an envy, 

then the girl in the mirror standing back at me. 

 

Earth shaking, ground breaking, 

Fear over me. 

Can't breathe yelling,

"Somebody save me please!" 

Damsel in distress, 

yet only I can save me. 

I'm drowning, I'm drowning. 

Just let me be. 

 

Red lines, 

Dark times, 

Do it until it feels right. 

Wanna be an envy. 

Have to be in trouble. 

These expectation are choking me. 

 

Don't cut. 

Don't bleed, 

Don't lock the door until it feels right, 

Suck in your stomach. 

Get someone to save you. 

 

Pushing away, 

I will always be this way. 

I am diagnosed. 

I am diagnosed;

But my mental illness, 

Does not define me.  


The author's comments:

This is about my struggles with Self harm, Suicide ideations, OCD, Anxiety, Depression, and eating disorder. It's about what it's like to be diagnosed with all that, but still survive. And show I am not my mental illness. 


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