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Visions
Each and every night before I go to sleep
I see demons come out to crawl and creep
And anytime I'm upstairs I see myself leap
Even in happy times
I see myself weep
It’s hard to know what matters
When all I can see is myself take a gun
And watch my brain splatter
Everytime I see that it blows my mind
What's worse is when I'm blind
All I see is black
But with an overlay of monsters ready to attack
It all seems so real
The pain I see
Turns into the pain I feel
And every fear I've ever had
I've seen it
So there's a reason to believe it
Watch that devil chase me and stab
Right into my chest I felt it jab
Slabs of meat fall off my body
Just like the pig I am
Waitin to be served with somebody's dinner as ham
Maybe have a little brain juice
With some tongue jam
How am I supposed to let loose
When something's always got my neck
Like I'm a rubber goose
I see and hear myself squawk for life
Screaming give me another chance
Just to be cut with a knife
Think about what that does to a kid
And people wondered why when it was dark I hid
I dove and I slid
Right into the light
So maybe I wouldn't go through as much fright
Like seeing my body jump off over a 50 foot height
I used to tell people and they had no realization
That maybe an 8 year old shouldn't have that big of an imagination
I've been self jump scared too much
Maybe that's why I have no skin pigmentation
White as all of the ghosts I see
And the best part is what I can hear
Each and every little fear
No stop talking
Get out of my ear
And then I see my tear fall
“Hey kid, don't you want to end it all?”
Maybe, just not yet
At least I know my future may not be dead set
And I can say for a fact
I'm tired of seeing my dead self on the floor
So maybe it's not worth it to live life anymore
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A rap song about living life as person with schizophrenia.