Visions | Teen Ink

Visions

February 12, 2019
By shadow13kp SILVER, Advance, North Carolina
shadow13kp SILVER, Advance, North Carolina
7 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Each and every night before I go to sleep

I see demons come out to crawl and creep

And anytime I'm upstairs I see myself leap

Even in happy times

I see myself weep

It’s hard to know what matters

When all I can see is myself take a gun

And watch my brain splatter

Everytime I see that it blows my mind

What's worse is when I'm blind

All I see is black

But with an overlay of monsters ready to attack

It all seems so real

The pain I see

Turns into the pain I feel

And every fear I've ever had

I've seen it

So there's a reason to believe it

Watch that devil chase me and stab

Right into my chest I felt it jab

Slabs of meat fall off my body

Just like the pig I am

Waitin to be served with somebody's dinner as ham

Maybe have a little brain juice

With some tongue jam

How am I supposed to let loose

When something's always got my neck

Like I'm a rubber goose

I see and hear myself squawk for life

Screaming give me another chance

Just to be cut with a knife

Think about what that does to a kid

And people wondered why when it was dark I hid

I dove and I slid

Right into the light

So maybe I wouldn't go through as much fright

Like seeing my body jump off over a 50 foot height

I used to tell people and they had no realization

That maybe an 8 year old shouldn't have that big of an imagination

I've been self jump scared too much

Maybe that's why I have no skin pigmentation

White as all of the ghosts I see

And the best part is what I can hear

Each and every little fear

No stop talking

Get out of my ear

And then I see my tear fall

“Hey kid, don't you want to end it all?”

Maybe, just not yet

At least I know my future may not be dead set

And I can say for a fact

I'm tired of seeing my dead self on the floor

So maybe it's not worth it to live life anymore


The author's comments:

A rap song about living life as person with schizophrenia.


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