Indian summer | Teen Ink

Indian summer

February 5, 2013
By Einahpets BRONZE, Weston, Colorado
Einahpets BRONZE, Weston, Colorado
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Indian summer
my last memmory is him
and distant thunder



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This article has 2 comments.


on Mar. 4 2013 at 3:31 pm
Einahpets BRONZE, Weston, Colorado
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Thanks, I'll check it out.

on Feb. 17 2013 at 1:09 pm
KnitsandPurls GOLD, Mahtomedi, Minnesota
13 articles 0 photos 83 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I cannot live without books&quot;<br /> --Thomas Jefferson

This is a beautiful, strong example of a haiku. The syllable structure is exactly right, which you don't see in a lot of the haikus on this site. The personification is simple yet powerful. Overall, this is a wonderful piece.   I do have a piece of advice, but it is a very small and nit-picky thing. I would add a period to the end of the last line. This would ground the poem more, if you know what I mean. It would also give the poem a definite ending.    P.S. I have a haiku posted called "Fluent in Dance". Do you want to check it out? I would really appreciate it. No pressure, though.