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Indian summer
February 5, 2013
Indian summer
my last memmory is him
and distant thunder
© Steve S., Marblehead, MA
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This article has 2 comments.
KnitsandPurls GOLD said...
on Feb. 17 2013 at 1:09 pm
This is a beautiful, strong example of a haiku. The syllable structure is exactly right, which you don't see in a lot of the haikus on this site. The personification is simple yet powerful. Overall, this is a wonderful piece. I do have a piece of advice, but it is a very small and nit-picky thing. I would add a period to the end of the last line. This would ground the poem more, if you know what I mean. It would also give the poem a definite ending. P.S. I have a haiku posted called "Fluent in Dance". Do you want to check it out? I would really appreciate it. No pressure, though.
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