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Me and You
September 11, 2009
I love you,
You love me,
Me and are meant to be.
We see fear,
We see cheer,
Me and you,
Our hearts are near,
Together forever is what is seems,
Me and you always in our dreams.
I loved you,
You loved me,
Me and you were meant to be.
We saw fear,
We saw cheer,
Me and you,
Our hearts were near,
Together forever is what it seemed,
Me and you,
Were always in our dreams.
© Hilary R., Woodland Hills, CA
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This article has 28 comments.
ilovedayna BRONZE said...
on Apr. 9 2011 at 3:54 pm
it reminds me of barney :) no offense. it's pretty good though
skittle luva=) said...
on Dec. 13 2010 at 2:43 pm
i luuvv it....it relates 2 me plz keep writing...it made me feel happy it reminded me of my ex he wuz ssoo kute =)
Glimmerglass BRONZE said...
on Nov. 21 2010 at 1:50 pm
This was really sweet, and well composed, but you might want to submit under a different category. Haikus have a 5-7-5 syllable count and do not rhyme; otherwise, very nice!
D-ray's master! said...
on Oct. 8 2010 at 9:21 am
D-ray stop you complaining she is fine! but really you shouldnt forget words if you are going to post things on the internet! PROOFREAD!!it works wonders
D-Ray Son said...
on Oct. 8 2010 at 9:19 am
great job! :) but you are missing a word in the beginning..."you" other than that....awesome job
Amiee said...
on Oct. 8 2010 at 2:45 am
aww, cute! but still not haiku
would have done nice in the free verse place
DiamondsIntheGrass GOLD said...
on Aug. 25 2010 at 8:00 am
well... i don't think this is a haiku. and it didn't really flow too well. it's a nice idea though, i like the present tense and then the change to past tense.
ForeverWonderland BRONZE said...
on Jul. 12 2010 at 1:08 pm
I like the actualy poem, but a Haiku poem is 5-7-5.
Demon_of_Truth said...
on Apr. 15 2010 at 4:45 pm
I think you need to review your poetry forms, haiku is 5-7-5. I'm almost positive that this is a balad or free verse . . . :(
musicalsuicide said...
on Apr. 15 2010 at 1:52 pm
you need to count the sylables but other than that u are a great writer
sasssgirrrl22 PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 12 2010 at 8:50 pm
i like this. its realy cute. how r u counting the syllablez??
9CatsPerLife101 PLATINUM said...
on Dec. 26 2009 at 7:47 pm
Is this a haiku? I don't know how you're counting the syllables, but I can't make it into 5-7-5. Maybe it's just me. :(
Bri Lane said...
on Nov. 12 2009 at 10:49 am
This is awesome! I love it. Great job. Please keep righting you are so good at it.
demartinot said...
on Oct. 21 2009 at 3:59 pm
This was an amazingly descriptive poem. When you said "I loved you, You loved me..." Do you still love eachother or was it just in the past? Also when you say "Our hearts are near." Do each of you know you love each other or is it secretive? This was a fantastic poem! Keep Writing!
I-Love-Him!!!! BRONZE said...
on Oct. 16 2009 at 9:18 am
thanx 4 tha comment and i will try t o keep writing
11 articles 0 photos 36 comments
Favorite Quote:
"Life isn’t about how popular you are… What girl or boy you are dating or who you know. Life is about always being true to who you are or what you believe in. Never let anyone convince you that their way is better than your way. In the end all we have is our hearts.. and our minds. This is the reason we sing.. this is the reason we cry… this is why we live." - Andy six"