I tend to hurt myself often

This time I am too tired to heal

My scars seem too deep

I have lost someone I hoped to keep.

What happened to the house in the country

Or the life we planned on living

You must continue, don’t give up

Truly this time death is unforgiving

I thought I would never be so low

If time could change

I would risk my face and body

Just for your smile to show

I still wait for a message

Or a happy birthday

Because as we both know

15 was supposed to be my curtain closed

I wish I could be mad

But you did nothing wrong

In my mind you did nothing wrong.

Did you do anything wrong?

I continue to hate myself

I know you stopped caring

Please continue living

Should only my mind continue depressing.

Take care of them for me

They know you didn’t mean for this

It is my actions,words and brain.

Did you do anything wrong?

Oh I wish I could make a list

Happy 18th birthday to me

I wish I didn’t get to see

I wish I had died long ago.

Along with my past and soul.

Maybe it would have been better.

If I left that way. 

For feelings never really go away.

But roses quickly fade.