Is it still self harm if it doesn't leave a mark?
Is it my fault if the car was never parked?
I slipped on the bathroom floor
Clipped on the cupboard door
But what's more?
Stitches?
Score!
But I can't write anymore.
I don't feel right anymore.
My legs don't work like they used to before
Even though I know it's wrong at my core.
It's not for attention
That was never my intention
The school suspension
Was just a pleasant extension
I probably need an intervention
But after anxiety won the election
I was afraid of all the retention.
Yeah I made a contract
But if it doesn't look like my own act
Does it really cross that?
And soon as my skull makes contact
I know I'll regret that
If I even awaken
From my skull being so shaken
This was never something
I felt I could partake in
But I guess I was mistaken.

Overdose would be nice
But awaking wouldn't be a pleasant surprise
I need you to realize
These aren't attention cries
That my arms are chafing from these lies
No not cuts
But counts of lonely nights
The amount of soulless flights
I'm just a number in this data mine
And though I'll try and blame it on this dad of mine
Honestly it's because this mountain
I couldn't climb
I was slipping before his time
Tripping along that line
It definitely didn't help
But he's not the one that committed the crime.
When I come home in crutches
Stating that the accident was sudden
Yes I do feel a lack of loving
But it's because I'm destroyed by everything
The light touches
That I'm getting this cast
And I get a chance to relax
at last.
I wanna be safe
But I wanna be happy
If I suffocate in a grave
Will that make the pain not happen?

I probably need a padded room
If they could see what I see
I wouldn't be let go anytime soon
Impending doom
I'm sending you
Thoughts of what I'd do
If I didn't feel so blue
I wanna be me
I wanna go see
The world in its entirety
But I hate the whole part about existing
I'd be better if I didn't feel a thing
I would be better if I didn't live
A hopeless dream
But why does another man's reality
Have to be my dream?
We could switch places
Wear out each other's shoe laces
I would be so gracious
But that man would hate this
I don't know if he could take it
I would never do that to someone
Even if it means I have no one
I'll just write one
A cry for help
That's what I'll be high on
That's what my heart will die on
A cry for help.
My letters sent into the nether
Burned through the weather
And made it together
Now they will sever
My future
When I remember
What I was like
When I wanted a never.