Hi, I am a poem
As a poem I am a story waiting to be seen
Feeling in the dark and unwanted by my peer group around me
There seems to be a disconnect
I don’t come from a just family
I was abused as a child
I was abused because I had cancer
Because I was becoming disabled
I was about to lose a leg and my family couldn’t take it
They
I was about to lose my leg and They couldn’t take it
My life was about to be changed forever and They couldn’t take it
They
It seems to be more about other people
What about me?
What about the fact that I had to shed blood
A leg
To keep my life
That I had to hang up my education and fall behind
Because I was fighting for my life
I had to give up being “normal”
But my feelings don’t matter
The fact that I was already fighting for my life
Doesn’t matter
The fact that I was slowly becoming worse
Because I was told that “I can’t win”
I couldn’t keep fighting because I was told I was losing my battle
Forget the fact that I had a chance
I was going to die
But somehow I got through
The battle of illness didn’t win
But I was still losing
The abuse continued
I was told I was fat and ugly
Told that my disability is my fault
That I ruined their lives because they have to take care of me
I ruined Their lives
Forget it
Forget the fact that I just fought with blood sweat and a leg
To keep my life
On top of losing a leg
Now I had to keep heart
But I couldn’t
All the things they would say soon became my words
I soon became my own burden
On top of being theirs
I was worth less than dirt
Dirt that cost about $2 per 25lb bag
I was worth less than dirt
I was a beating toy
I was the person that people could hurt because they had anger
Well, I have anger too
Soon I became aggressive all the time
I became the “bad guy”
I got arrested 3 times because I had no out
I needed an out
Even going to school was horrible
To be told you are below someone because of your disability
Is horrible
So I was worthless at home
And now School
I wanted to give up
Wanted to wake up in another time that was not this
I made death threats
But for myself
Foster care soon haunted me
Being moved from home to home
I was treated like a bag of random s***
That nobody wanted
I guess one man's trash eventually just becomes
Trash
Soon I realized though
Enough is enough
I realized that my heart was tainted
My heart was hurt
I had a lot of work to do and I got busy
I had a desire to be somebody
I have a desire to be somebody
I worked hard
I started to develop a personality
I wanted to be honest
I had to unwrap myself from the lies I had been told
I wanted to be genuine
I would now tell people my story
I wanted to be kind
I would not turn out like my family
I was going to be me
Even if it meant not being accepted by my peers and people around me
I was going to be me
I am going to be me
I will not be defined as what I have gone through
But who I want to be
I want to be a motivational speaker
I want to care how others think
And I do
I am going to be
Something
I will be something
Because I am
Something