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Insomnia Has Ahold Of Me
I lay awake
Thinking the thoughts that I can't seem to shake.
I lay perfectly still
As my thoughts go downhill
They're constantly spinning around my head.
Spinning like the the blades on the fan I'm watching from a still position in my bed.
Insomnia has ahold of me.
I close my eyes waiting to be swallowed by darkness, but I still see.
I see like I have pictures tattooed to my the back of my eye lids.
Inhaling & exhaling. I'm Focusing on the rising and falling of my ribs.
In the quietnesss of the early morning I can almost hear my own heartbeat.
The sun is rising soon, but I've yet to sleep.
The trees blowing in the wind outside of my window catch my eye.
I notice the almost pink color of the sky.
I look for shapes in the empty spaces of the trees.
I look at the different shapes of the leaves.
I hear a vehicle lock from across the street.
I wonder if the neighbors are able to get some sleep.
I become jealous of those sound asleep around me.
Why is it that when I shut my eyes, I can still see?
I ponder on this for a while.
Hey, if I tilt my head while looking at that tree, it kind of looks like a smile.
Why are the lights to the vehicle across the street on?
A car drives by and I hear the radio thumping, but I can't hear the song.
I begin to time the rattling of my ceiling fan.
The noise is hidden by cars passing by every now and then.
I look out my window to see that the neighbor's vehicle lights have gone dark.
From outside, I hear what sounds like a dog bark.
I wonder what it's barking at.
I tell myself that I don't really care and I lay back.
I really need some sleep.
Why is my mind so strong when by body is so weak?
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I am 16 years of age, and I have been diagnosed with insomnia due to some traumatic experiences in my life. I wrote this poem at 5:00 one morning when I couldn't sleep. I wrote it to give others an insight on what it's like for me and many others who struggle with insomnia.