Materials:
1.)One pile of books
2.)A heap of patience
3.)An era of teacher
4.)A lifetime of sounding out words
5.)An ocean full of intellect
6.)A sprinkle of encouragement
7.)A truckload of anger
8.)A vial of the ABC’s
9.)Optional: A pile of chairs.

Directions:
1.)Grab your favorite book your mother reads to you before bed and head to school. If you don’t have a school the government will provide you with one.
2.)Optional: To make yourself look cool whip out your favorite book in show and tell to brag to your friends. (If this doesn’t impress your friends then I guess they aren’t your real friends.)
3.)Open the book. Using the ABC’s begin trying to sound out words. If you need help obtaining this superior knowledge ask your teacher for help.
4.)Now unleash that anger and throw a fit because you don’t understand. If needed you can use your chair for this part.
5.)Now the teacher will call your parents and make you talk to them.
6.)Next your parent will encourage you to listen otherwise you can’t stay up past 8:30.
7.)After cooling off. Be patient and wait 1-2 months for best results.
8.)Go back to the ABC’s and begin sound out the words again.
Repeat the recipe if needed.