the first time i thought it was over
i sucked all the sweetness from your lips
and later tried to taste you when you weren't there

the second time
i watched you in the swing of a front door
smiling with someone who was not me
and someone who was not you walked me home

the third time i played with envy
and said hello to you
and swept another beautiful boy into my mouth

the fourth time
and this is the last
i said
so let's be reckless
you answered

the fifth time was not supposed to happen
it was not written for us
but god
we wanted it so badly
we wrote it for ourselves
and you crawled out of the cocoon in your head
and rested your heart in my palm
and kissed me so quickly
that in the morning
i couldn't lick my lips for the traces