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Soul Searching
A helping hand offered forth
A hesitant refusal of-
A partnership indebted
full of care, hope, and love
An acceptance of one’s self
first to be made
Before any partner is to be found
or that debt is to be paid
The hands once reached forward
snatch back into their place
Until you become unrecognizable
A soul without a face
A reflection once seen
through a mirror on set
Turned inside out
into nothing, a silhouette.
But to wither in pain,
stumble in guilt
on the past ships
you could never have built.
Or the voyages never
sailed upon
with shrinking hopes
and rising dawn
The crashing waves of
sinking troubles
Your imperfections
drown the mindful rubble
A bitter taste
on sour tongue
a lucid disappointment
Your apparent haste
to grow up young
and face your own anointment
A lost cause
not searched for
remains unfound
What subtle pause
not worked towards
is claimed profound?
The brilliance of entity
stands alone
very much manifest
The beauty is plenty
yet still spiders roam
inside of your chest
Until a light is shone-
nowhere to be found
lies acceptance
the brightness you hone
terrified of your own
rejection
But one melancholy night
only lasts a year
You scream deafeningly-
Yet only you hear
Dirty claws grasp the rocks
in which you try to climb
Though a lengthy expatriation
Cannot depart you from your mind
But when the climb is finished
and you’ve finally reached the peak
Silence humbles you-
No longer can you speak
And as you look around
you catch a glimpse of something new
A reflection seen long ago;
Realization hits: It’s you.
An acceptance of one’s self
Has finally been made
Any partner can be found
Any debt will be paid
A helping hand offered forth
A gradual approval of-
A partnership indebted
Full of care, hope, and love

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I wrote this poem to describe the struggle of accepting yourself and finally allowing yourself to open up to another person.