Dear Mom and Dad

I know I’m not the son you wanted me to be
I could tell you were always disappointed in me
You should know that I tried, I really did try, for such a long time
This wasn’t a recent thing
  I’ve always known who I was and who I wanted to be
I played the role of the perfect son
The one who got good grades, had a 4.0 GPA
Dated the most popular girl in school
The one who was the star of every sports team,
The son who hit a home run, scored a goal, and threw the winning touchdown pass weekly
I saw that you could sense how distressed I felt
Every time I dragged  home my heavy load of pads and cleats
Every time I passed the mirror, and caught a glance at myself in the team uniform
Every time I saw a picture you posted of me on my facebook feed.
But there was a lot you didn’t know too
You didn’t know how every night I cried myself to sleep
I woke up early so I could secretly watch Glee
Or every time I was on the court or field or ice, how badly I wanted to leave
I tried to tell you once or twice
You told me I was wrong, I was dazed, I was stuck in a phase
When I quit the team, you wouldn’t talk to me for over two weeks
Maybe you thought that if you hated me, It wouldn’t hurt as much when others would
I never thought this is how I would go, but I knew what I had to do
I didn’t want to be here if I was afraid to be me
If my own parents hated me
So when you find me lying there
My blood staining the carpet and the chair
Know this wasn’t your fault.
Because all you wanted was a perfect son, and I wasn’t one.
Sincerely,
Your disgrace
Your biggest mistake
Your Son