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As If
Anxiety slowly building up inside me.
I kept thinking
I’ll get the next one.
It’s fine.
I’m
Rubbing my hands together
as if it helped me let go
of all the self-loath
Squeezing the of my jersey
bottom
as if it could press away
all of my nerves
up
Running my hands and my shorts
down
as if it would wipe away all the
self-consciousness,
embarrassment,
and disappointment
Adjusting my ponytail
as if it would wrap up
my
frustration
Pulling up my knee pads
as if it would cover up
my mistakes
Touching the ground
as if it would push
down a l l
the memories of my unsuccessful hits
Cracking my knuckles
as if it would b r e a k
all the bad choices I made
The whistle blew
The volleyball hovered over the net
time for another try.
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We were in the finals during this volleyball tournament. I wrote about how I felt during the game.