I want to find a hiding place

Set in the middle of the world.

I want to be alone, but not

Lonely.

I wonder where this place may be

And I wonder how long it’ll take

To find it.

I feel like it’s a part of me,

That vague and wonderful place.

I feel as though I’m merely searching

For all my hopes and dreams,

Searching for a special kind of happy-

My kind of happy.

I wonder if it’s cool and bittersweet and colorful,

Like fall.

Or warm and moist and new

Like spring.

Maybe it’s vulnerable sunshine

Like summer

Or a deep, tucked away coldness,

Like the bone-chilling winter.

But I hope my home, my heart, does not

Reside in such a place,

Because seasons have a way of coming

And going

On a whim.

I want a permanent home.

I want a beautiful, fluctuating happiness.

I want to find a hiding place

Set in the middle of the world

So my laughter can be surrounded by everything.

But then again,

Perhaps I belong on the outskirts.

The place where I can live outside the crowd,

Laughing at their antics.

A place where I can easily run away.