Sometimes my brain becomes bigger

Than my heart
It tells me
“You idiot, they hate you, they don’t want you.”
And my heart responds with
“You’re probably right.”
And it sinks into the pits of hell
As the flames lick it until there’s nothing but white ash
Left inside me
The kindling of a forest fire has scarred my heart
And burnt down my forest

Sometimes my brain becomes bigger
Than my heart
It tells me
“She’s ignoring you, you annoy her. She probably doesn’t even want to be with you, who would?”
And my heart responds with
“You’re probably right.”
And my heart sinks into the pits of hell
And the devil has assigned me
My own personal demons
I’m basically a frequent flyer
And my stomach goes into knots
And I struggle to undo them
Until I’m almost there
Then the demons pull the knot tighter than ever before
And they don’t stop pulling this time
Until I collapse in on myself and I say
“Fine, you win.”

Sometimes my brain becomes bigger
Than my heart
And it tells me
“You’ve been broken before”
And my heart says
“And so I am more careful.”
And sometimes that creates issues
And mounting insecurities
But it still chooses to love
Because that’s one of the best feelings
In the world
And love makes the trees in the forest grow back
And turns the barren forest
Into a sanctuary of life
Of growth and prosperity
And we’ll live there
Like Adam and Eve
And we’ll say f*** it to the apples
And kill all the snakes
Because I couldn’t think of anything corrupting
The paradise that we’ve made

Sometimes my brain becomes bigger
Than my heart
It tells me
“Nobody wants you here.”
And my heart responds with
“You’re a f***ing liar.”
And my heart remembers
The world around it
The protective casing that is my body
The job it does
And my heart remembers
Just how beautiful the world can be
And that there is true love
And happiness is your own
And what you make of it
Nobody can take that away from you

Sometimes my heart becomes bigger
Than my brain
It tells me
“You are loved. You are wanted. You are welcome.”
And my brain responds with
“I know.”