Where is my dad? jealousy forms in my chest when i see kids and their fathers having fun, and i ask myself; why can't or why have i never had that?
That security, that protector. i always thought he would come back one day. but is it too late? 17 years later and i barely know you dad.
No birthday presents, no gifts for christmas. no calls or letters. hoping one day maybe i would, just maybe get a call.
But i blame you for my wrongs because you were never here to teach me the things fathers are susposed to teach their daughters, never here to give me the love i was susposed to have. you never filled that spot i have, so i went out searching for it on my own. knowing all along, i was always searching in the wrong places, i was used and abused because of you.
But i thank you for making me stonger, you built me up even though you also brung me down. I am a lady now and I will always know in my heart and mind that I am a strong person and I will never, ever depend on no man, no matter how many good things he whispers into my ear. I will never ever be blinded by love. because of you, "dad", i will be independent and i will prosper in life, no more jealousy no more anger in my chest because of you. thank you father.