My Battle | Teen Ink

My Battle

October 8, 2015
By Jstar97 GOLD, Round Lake, Illinois
Jstar97 GOLD, Round Lake, Illinois
18 articles 1 photo 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Even the darkest nights will end and the sun will rise" - Les Miserables


American Revolution.
Civil War.
World War I.

What do they have in common?

Pain.
Violence.
Suffering.
Fatigue.
Fear.

My war
Is not unlike those.

There are fights.

All day every day,
I battle.

I battle the enemy,
Hoping to win.

It lasts a long time.

I get no sleep;
I am always tired,
But the pain
Keeps me awake.

Strength is needed,
Strength to thrust the sword
Or hold up the gun.

Strength
To fight back.

Energy is drained.

Why so quickly?

Energy is drained,
And I wish I could take a break
To re-charge.

Can't concentrate
On anything else.

I can't leave the enemy
To fight me, defenseless.
It won't win.
It can't.

Every second spent distracted,
I am hit
And wounded.

Pain
Shoots through my body.

I am knocked down,
But I get back up.

Energy is drained
Some more.

I just want a break,
Just for one second.

The lights dim outside,
And it's ready to sleep,
Ready to forget the battles.

But the enemy attacks
At my weakest point.

Why didn't I see it?

I spend the night
Fighting some more.

And the cycle begins,
Everyday more exhausting
And painful
Than the last.

When the sun comes out,
When I see a moment of light,
When I knock them down for just barely long enough,
I see
What makes it all worth it.
I see
What I'm fighting for.

I fight
For my dignity.

For my family,
For my friends.

I fight,
To help others
Who battle as well.

I fight
For my pride,

For my God,

For my life.

And I am grateful
That I have reasons,
That life is not just an endless battle.

For the battle is inside of me,
And I cannot escape.


The author's comments:

I have a spinal cord condition called Transverse Myelitis, which left me paralyzed 4 years ago (could walk, sit up, or move my arms). It also left me with chronic pain and fatigue, which I still battle daily. Chronic illnesses are rough, especially the invisible parts; that's what this poem is about.


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