A Cosmic Eulogy | Teen Ink

A Cosmic Eulogy MAG

October 6, 2015
By JessicaGMCarter BRONZE, South Riding, Virginia
JessicaGMCarter BRONZE, South Riding, Virginia
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

You were a dying star in a world that could only see the beauty of a sunrise
They sought fiery reds explosions
Expressive, vibrant orange dances
You radiated a shimmering yellow haze flecked with shards of gold
When they couldn’t accept the the grace
of your nuance
You set yourself ablaze with a desperate intensity
Singeing everything in your wake
I recall leaving the lights on before I left
But knowing the silence you sought
I was not surprised when I returned to darkness
You sang frantic, violent melodies into the night
Not to experience the music, but for fear
of the unsung
When you sent your melodies sailing
through my core
I forgave you because the blood
was rare and sweet
During the night, you would leak acrid tears
Dark matter seeping from your pores
I would watch, helpless
Trying, but unable to bind your broken bones with well intentioned string
The thread that turns estranged halves
into inevitable wholes
The force that draws shattered stars together to create new beginnings
We would lay close, not touching
Connected only by doubt and starlight
But when you burned bright
Hot and uninhibited
Fueled not by others’ encroachments, but by sheer wonder of your own existence
Your light would warm the edges of time
Illuminate the very brink of existence
We would lie in fields of asteroids
Linked by the space between our atmospheres
And you would stare into the cosmos and tell me the names of the constellations
As if they were old friends.

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This article has 3 comments.

Beila BRONZE said...
on Oct. 14 2015 at 12:34 am
Beila BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
3 articles 0 photos 516 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." -Mark Twain

This poem--this eulogy--is breathtaking. Your word choice is impeccable and incredible. Every line and every stanza conveys the same surreal mood. The imagery of the cosmos throughout ties together this beautifully metaphorical, deeply resonant piece. You remind me a little of T.S. Eliot's "Prufrock": "When the evening is spread out against the sky/ Like a patient etherized upon a table;/ Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets..." You have a gift. The one place I think you can improve is this line: "The force that draws shattered stars together to create new beginnings." The new beginnings part sounds cliched and does not fit with the power of the metaphors surrounding this line. Maybe end with "to compose new galaxies"? You don't want that one phrase to detract from the otherwise glittering glory of your imagery. :)

on Oct. 13 2015 at 11:25 pm
TheGuyWithThePen SILVER, Selah, Washington
7 articles 0 photos 1 comment
I really liked this poem. The way you chose your words and crafted them together really created a lovely piece. I especially liked the first few lines about the dying star. Like Ray--yo said, please continue, I'd love to see what you come up with next.

on Oct. 13 2015 at 9:10 am
Ray--yo PLATINUM, Kathmandu, Other
43 articles 2 photos 581 comments

Favorite Quote:
God Makes No Mistakes. (Gaga?)
"I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right." -Liesel Meminger via Markus Zusac, "The Book Thief"

You wrote this beautiully- and the night-times imagery is brilliant. I especially liked the first and last paragraphs (and everything in between, too). Please, continue writing.