Desiderium | Teen Ink


August 25, 2015
By SlaveKnightGael BRONZE, There, West Virginia
SlaveKnightGael BRONZE, There, West Virginia
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:

She lived in me, in a façade, dying memory
Whispered in me, a visage, fading melody
A living, breathing word
In a rotten, suffering  world

When she came the sun rose
And when I was with her, time froze
Being with her was being warm
For she was fire

She left like she came, suddenly
And like before died the world, quietly
And with that did she take the gleam
That shining memoir from my dream

She took the kill
Used the drill
Tore my heart out, made me ill
And never again did I ever feel

And thus, it came like this, endless desiderium
Lodged deep inside, grafted in my cranium
Of the unfathomable, unthinkable love
That I foolishly gave to my dove

Bereft of meaning
With that so familiar feeling
Of the long forgotten lore
That which hurts, forevermore

From there on out every single dream
Tore apart ever-so-slowly my every seam
And every cold blooded December night wrought her ghost upon the door
And every longing summer day brought her voice upon the floor

She left. She was overnight
And my time of death feels nigh
For she makes me want to scream
But most of all, I just want to dream

About the times when we were
Betwixt and bare
Only us in rare love
In a dark, forgotten cove

Apropos tis, I'd suppose
And to sense it goes
That such a pure feeling
Is no more than me dreaming

And so all the night tide
I stay quiet and write lies
And I hopelessly ponder
And I worthlessly wonder
About this love, endless desiderium
That which is lost
Forever, In my cranium

I lie, haunted by this devil
Endlessly bewitched, feeble
By this unmistakable reason
of eternal treason

Cursed, without nepenthe
The words in my head grow in density
For when she left gone was the glow
And this pain, it only grows

Dedicated to my lost love, the one who got away
Life goes on, yet failure stays
And even though my common sense told me to stay awake
What more can I do but forever dream in your space

2 years did I dream of her embrace
2 years did she make my heart race
Yet all that’s well, dreams do reclaim
And now, only ashes remain.

For a dream is but a derelict wish
And her memoirs escape, no leash
And in the endless night do I cry her name
On my knees, short of breath, my bane.

When the sun hides, she comes
And ethereal beauty, she dons
With a smile so bright
The stars pale in fright
With each step she strides
Her beauty, she does not hide
The dark she scuds, gently
In my eyes she sunk, quickly

Her name does rest upon my chest
Branded with a hot iron, it rests
The scalding hurt grows stronger
Yet I want it to last longer.

Whatever I must do to keep her
Close to me, it’s only fair
For any other way, I wouldn’t dare
She’s my soul, my light glare

But now she’s gone. She’s gone again
And but a single word reverberates: pain
Of incompletion, the space she late
Of loneliness, my current state

My soul, bouleversement doth bare
Disarray, pell-mell thoughts for share
She held the key to my sanity
With her utmost beauty, sanctity

My soul screams for substance, anodyne
Yet finds none, instead ravaged, asinine
Impeccable once, hallowed and might
Yet now rotten and fusty, haggard and blight

Oh, life, this daily strife
What a sudden twist, a sharpened knife
To think once I could master you
When in reality, it wasn’t true

By the coast did we watch
And her arms, around me, did latch
The sundown, in all its might
With ember, auburn-strewn light

It illuminated her hair, so bright
Only rivaled by her smile, so right
And as I held her close, felt her skin
I closed my eyes, in her did I sink
I dreamt of golden rays
Showering olden bays
And superfluous, oleaginous waves
Dancing, prancing in gorgeous ways

Sometimes in summer
At times in spring
Time’s a runner
Yet memories bring

The warmth of feeling
Her close to me
When winter’s reeling;
Corrupted, sick

I dreamt and dreamt
And dreamt some more
Bliss and hope, I felt
In its purest form

And betwixt these dreams
Did prevail a single gleam
Of her; her slender frame
This hallowed, silken dame

Yes all these are memories
Far gone, left pain with no remedies
For her scent and essence
Are dead; no longer present

The author's comments:

I wrote this for a poetry contest. Though ill-fated, i've grown fond of it. Please tell me what you think

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This article has 2 comments.

on Feb. 7 2017 at 5:49 pm
-Pancake- SILVER, Grants Pass, Oregon
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Favorite Quote:
"Bullies drink loser juice" Gerard freaking way


HammadWaseem said...
on Feb. 29 2016 at 3:49 pm
HammadWaseem, Lahore, Other
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Favorite Quote:
Be proud of who you are.

You can't see me
-John Cena

Ooh, somebody stop me!

just ok, not good