The things people tell me
Are you okay?
You look so sad
What’s going on?
You know you can talk to me
I’m here for you
What I want to tell them
No
I’m not okay
And
Yes
I do look sad
That’s probably because
I am sad
And
To answer what’s going on
I don’t know how to answer that
I don’t know what’s going on either
My therapist can’t figure out
What’s wrong with me
My therapist doesn’t know
What triggers my anxiety
Or my depression
Because they just show up
At random times
Just to ruin my day

You say
I can talk to you
Well what if I can’t?
What if I don’t think you could handle it
My favorite author once said
“The truth can rip you apart”
What if my truth could rip you apart
Would you still want to hear it
And you say you’re here for me
But how far does that extension go
Will you be there for me
When I can no longer be there for you
Or when I am pushing you away
When secretly I know I need you

What I actually tell them
I’m fine, thanks
Or
I’m just tired
Which really isn’t that much of a lie
I am tired
But the kind of tired I am is not fixed
With a full night of sleep
Nothing helps my tiredness
I’m just tired

So now you know
I am not okay
Yes,
I do look sad
I don’t know what’s going on
No,
I can’t talk to you
And
No,
You are not there for me