The whole idea of it makes me feel as if

The entire room is shifting,
The endless rows of upholstered chairs
Encroaching,
Leaving their once-calm places.
A handshake and solemn smiles,
A mask of makeup,
An envelope stuffed with questions.
I can’t make sense of why I’m looking back
When I’m one of the youngest here
But when my eye shifts through shadowy figures
And lands upon the spray of velvet roses
Placed upon the casket,
The haze is cleared.
I see her there, knees bent, hands folded,
Diamonds sliding down her cheek.
I want to run up to her and crush her in my arms,
But I’m a statue -
Later on I will fulfill my duty.
Feeling her sobs against my contoured chest,
The tops of her braids frizzy, bottoms bound by purple hair ties,
Knowing that ten years isn’t long enough to learn of loss.
I will have to stay calm in the afternoon sun
Even as the repeating note of the crane rings in my mind
And my high heels sink past parched grass
And into the tousled dirt.