Maybe I’m amazed at human sentiment
For we locked away our consciences
Said our farewells to conviction
And grew seeds of

   Indifference
                                 False empathy

                                        And a generous dose of numbness

We crave love
Desire affection
Yet the doors leading to the

                                            Darkest
                       Deepest
Far-flung

Rims of our

     h
          e
               a
                    r
                         t
                             s

Remain dusty and tightly locked.

We tend to despair over denied forgiveness
            But refuse to let go as easily.

Never doing what we want to
          Or saying what we feel.
Still expecting others to do so.

Maybe I’m amazed at the idea of love

How we can get attached as a result of merely physical appeal

                        And claim it’s love

How in our vows we promise to love

                        Deeply

            Passionately

                        Unconditionally

        “In spite of”

But as time kisses the corner of our eyes

            And slaps our inner thighs

As we sag,

              So do our hearts,

And our love evaporates at the sight

                                   And withers

As the ephemeral promise of a beautiful wild flower.

Maybe I’m amazed at human language

Hasn’t anyone seen the

Shrugging

Whistling

   And

Elbowing

That occurs when a person agrees to commitment?

It is of little value

It is of little weight

What you say

or stop saying

What you take back

or leave hanging in the air

Watching as both your spoken and unspoken words

Contamine,

destroy,

Silently torn into two

                                                                                                                           Those who you love

                                     Those who you lust for

Those who you respect

Those who you yearn

            But we are oblivious to our scissor-like words

And pretend to glue people and their feelings

            Or decide to dismiss that our tongues could ever be of such harm.

Indifference is deadly,

And the worst illnesses are the ones that make us believe we are well.

Maybe I’m amazed at the human mind

We’ve got a storm raging inside

What with

thoughts

             and worries

what to be

                and what not to be

and inquiring ourselves with,

                                                                                                                                    “who are we?”

Clogged is our mind,

and we decide to set it blank

Not think

             or rationalize.

              Instead we busy ourselves with

Trivial conversations

Shallow books

Insipid conversations

                                      To drown out the hungry voices

              Relax clenched stomachs

Mute the sound of starvation

It is all screaming,

                                There is more to life than just a screen

Than just some dry laughs

                                Than just some short days

Than just some restless nights

                                 Than just a vicious routine

Than just some depression mixed with settlement

                                There is more to life than simply being

Simply existing.

                                  I exist

                                  But am I truly alive?

That question,

Everyday,

… It takes my breath away.

Maybe I’m amazed at human self-imposed impediment,

                        “Are they going?”

“What’re you wearing?”

                        “Does this look alright to you?”

“Would you come with me?”

It is always present in our minds

What others think

                 do

                 feel

About us;

            We let them shape our convictions.

We choose from a set of predetermined options,

          We let them decide where we go

                                     what we say

                                                 wear

                                                 listen to

Or what we don’t.

Maybe I’m amazed at myself,

Because I’m a raging fire

And a freezing, devastating snow storm.

I destroy easily

Effortlessly

Rapidly

Because I am the blossoming spring,

The beautiful decay of autumn,

The cruel heat of summer,

And chapped lips during winter.

Maybe I’m amazed at myself,

Because I care

            But am also indifferent.

Because I am free and happy

            But can looked trapped

                                 sour

                                 helpless.

Maybe I’m amazed at myself,

Because I am predictable

            In my unpredictability,

And can stand at awe

At the biggest horrors of existence.