This is Hardly Wonderland
“We all have these things inside,
that no one else can see.
They hold us down like anchors,
they drown us out at sea.”
The walls slowly crash down,
pulling the air out of my lungs.
The darkness fills my head,
while complete black blurs the vision I see.
I spent too much time playing with the darkness,
I forgot what the sun looks like.
As the horrible torture of others sets in,
oops, there goes my psych.
It’s something you can’t touch,
but anything you can’t see,
nothing but a trap, with no way to escape but me.
I feel the walls coming to close,
almost crushing my spirit,
and that’s when I realize I am about to give in. 
As I look in the shattered mirror,
I ask who is this girl, could she really be me?
I remember back then,
the innocence I held and the smile I shared.
As I grew up, away from the little girl I once was,
I wonder, who truly cared?
I miss the simplicity at its finest,
the one that’s all drained out.
I’m all grown up now, while it’s seeping in,
and all I want to do is shout.
It’s a prison where I am held,
between light and dark.
I’m both the prisoner and the cruel jailer,
and I’m falling apart.
I’m being ripped apart, limb by limb,
my shattered bones, and my heart caves in.
My self-mutilation, my scar after scar,
I’m all worn and hollow, I can taste the tar.
I need to keep moving on, keep my head up,
and get my thoughts crystal clear.
I need to look forward at all times,
because backwards is what I fear.
They told me to end it all,
to end the suffering.
But while I think about my past and future,
my head says, “still buffering.”
I need to take the road less traveled by,
maybe I’ll be all alone.
Because all of those people who said they cared,
haven’t even shown.
I wish I could find one simple way,
to take all the pain away.
Living with this agony day by day,
the memories of you won’t go away.
The lies ripped me to shreds,
to complete self-destruction.
I wish someone would come along,
and accomplish simple abduction.
It scares me to think of the possibilities,
with all this time I feel so broken.
I wish I could say all these words,
that were left so unspoken.