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My Journal is Crowded
Have you ever written a word
so many times
over and over again that eventually
the way it is spelled becomes
completely foreign to you and the letters look
so out of place and you are convinced you have
been spelling it wrong this entire time and all these
sheets of paper are just pages and pages of typos
and you are so unsure that you google the word
to check the spelling or you search up
the name in your contacts and when you were right
after all and the e was meant to go there and yes the i
ultimately does have that dot above its plain simple line
so you just stare at that word and suddenly it has less
meaning than it once did before ten pages of my journal
were filled with its burn
That’s what I did with your name
I wrote it ten thousand times
till my wrist hurt
and suddenly it was distant
and suddenly the pain
I felt when I saw it had
completely vanished
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Basically this is how I cope with mixed emotions on topics and people I know nothing about