Sleep | Teen Ink

Sleep

August 23, 2014
By MicahMorrison GOLD, Washington, DC, District Of Columbia
MicahMorrison GOLD, Washington, DC, District Of Columbia
17 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's not too late, it's never too late" -Three Days Grace


Sleep, what does it do? Sleep, sleep. Why do I need you? Do I have to dream? Is that not everything? You give me power, Restore my strength. But only so it can go away. Sleep, Sleep. Why do I need you? Sleep, what do you do?


The author's comments:

I was bored, and kinda sleepy. So I came up with this poem....

I know it's good, but i didn't know how to make it flow. 


Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 3 comments.


on Dec. 1 2015 at 9:13 am
L.J.Barnes. GOLD, Powhatan, Virginia
15 articles 0 photos 53 comments

Favorite Quote:
Avoid roasted cabbage, don't eat earwax and look on the bright side of life!
~Angela the Herbalist

You said you had a problem flowing. Often times in terms of poetry, the flow isn't as much about the rhyming but the syllables of each word. Your flow was actually pretty good, but I think a bit more indepthness would tell a much better story. Keep writing!

Hanban12 ELITE said...
on Nov. 30 2015 at 5:54 pm
Hanban12 ELITE, Lake Worth, Florida
133 articles 7 photos 631 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them."
Henry David Thoreau

"I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly, and then all at once."
John Green

I feel like this poem could use more depth. Delve into the topic of sleep; there's so much you can do with it. Also, line breaks help a lot when it comes to flow, and helps you sort out your ideas. Other than that, you've got a pretty good foundation to build upon. Keep writing! :)

on Sep. 27 2014 at 4:06 pm
Crystallite BRONZE, Santa Elena, Other
2 articles 2 photos 347 comments
i like this poem a lot. nice perspective and thoughts on sleep, now i am wondering XD Awesome poem ! ;-D