The number one rule of being a teenager
Is to follow through
With your s******** ideas.
Don’t think about the consequences,
Or what your mother will say--
Just do it.
Just hand Jolie the scissors
Tell her to cut “just about there”.
Listen to the snipping noises.
Don’t shriek when she says “oh no!”
Or when she curses under her breath
Or when Riti, who’s videotaping everything,
Begins to laugh.
Just sit through it
And tell yourself
That it’s just hair
And it grows back.
Put the hair in a drawer
And tell yourself that you will donate it
When you get the time.
Promptly forget about it.
Send a picture to your parents
Of your new crooked bob cut
And love it more than you ever loved
The tangled hay that stuck to your neck.