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What to do
January 1, 2014
It happened again and I don't know what to do
It fills me with pain and turned my mood very blue
It hurts in ways I didn't know was possible
It haunts me in ways that's simply not forgivable
It pains me and brings me down to my knees
It hurts me, showing up without ever telling me
It pains me, both mentally and physically.
It hurts me and makes me react uncontrollably.
And it makes me cry and beg for mercy
It's sole purpose is a mystery to me
© Xiao H., Naperville, IL
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 4 comments.
Shahrier said...
on Jan. 8 2014 at 9:52 am
youre right, i do need to work on my diction. i usually never revise my poems, so it stays original and true. you want to guess what the poem is about? lol, i had a really bad stomach ache that day and nothing could make it stop. so i did what i do when i am in pain, write to my hearts content. :) thanks for the comment
I liked the imagery in the poem but I don't especially like the rhyme. The mood should be confused and scared but the rhyming gives it a gentle, lulling tone. But in all honesty, the rhyming was very carefully done. Also I'm not sure if this was on purpose, but 'pain' was repeated a lot and unless it was on purpose, it would be better if you varied your diction. But good job on the piece.
