Barbie | Teen Ink


December 26, 2013
By Metalhead36 SILVER, Amherst, Massachusetts
Metalhead36 SILVER, Amherst, Massachusetts
8 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality. - Edgar Allan Poe

We used to be best friends. We used to do everything together. You would grasp me in excitement, and I would smile. You would hold me in your arms as you cried, and I’d be there to catch your tears. Every stroke you ran through my hair, every warm beat of your fingers on my chest, I was there, I saw it all. I meant everything to you, and you meant everything to me.

Then you got cold. Your desktop was colder. You got taller, you got broader, your breasts and chest began to grow, but I stayed the same. You looked at me, and I smiled hoping you’d see me, but I guess not. I started to fade away, blocked by the LED screens and gizmos and gadgets that entranced you that took you away from this world and brought you into another. I sat watching, waiting to smile and see your smile again, but all I got was a brush shove onto the ground, and all I received was being picked back up.

Eventually you stopped caring; eventually I was nothing more than a speck of dirt on your carpet floor. Sure, I felt your warm hands encasing my legs. And every time I sat waiting for you to cradle me in your arms, to hold me the way you use to and to bring me back to the young girl I once knew, not the emotionless shell you had become.

You changed your hair, your clothes, your outfits and everything about you. You shoved me to the side looking for makeup, muttering about your boyfriend, about everything in your life that mattered, somewhere I never was. You were lost, and I could find you. I could bring you to that place, I could make you the innocent girl you once were, but you never gave me a chance, letting me sit and envelop with dust on the hard wooden desk in the back of your room.

Until one day. One day you came in crying, one day you came in crying heavily, little black waterfalls dripping down your face, your face buried in your hands. And you looked at me, at your little friend who’d been sitting, seeing the person you’d become and fearing the change you undertook. And you smiled, and I smiled, and you wrapped your hands tight around my chest, and you held me to your chest and your heart beat soft. And I smiled. I remember the rain pitter-pattering against the window, the dim light of the lamp on your desk as you laid down with me in your arms, the soft cushions of your bed a crib for the innocent girl I found. You apologized, and I smiled. And you smiled, shutting your eyes and hugging me into your chest, whispering softly, thanks for never giving up on me.

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This article has 18 comments.

on Mar. 18 2014 at 9:33 am
Eno_Bladez GOLD, Williamsport, Pennsylvania
16 articles 1 photo 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
it'll be okay, if it's not okay it's not over.

wow :) this was really good and really really deep i liked how you put all the meaning in something that's so often veiwed as a simple object. you really captured the idea that a barbie means a lot to a child and vice versa. at first i though it was about a friend that was changing faster then another friend and they were growing apart but it wasnt :) wow this was just really great

on Jan. 26 2014 at 5:47 am
BurrThistle GOLD, Jaipur, Other
10 articles 0 photos 161 comments

Favorite Quote:
Write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect

Oh, this was lovely. The emotions were so raw and heartleft. Really good. Check out some of my work !

on Jan. 19 2014 at 1:22 pm
JustaSmarticleee BRONZE, Summerfield, Florida
1 article 0 photos 2 comments

SElahi BRONZE said...
on Jan. 19 2014 at 10:53 am
SElahi BRONZE, Burr Ridge, Illinois
4 articles 1 photo 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

This is beautifully written. The only thing I'd change is the structure of the poem, which was a little inhibiting to the whole experience. Other than that, though, really impressive work.

on Jan. 17 2014 at 4:25 pm
Myvoice4change SILVER, Other, Other
9 articles 3 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."

I like this! It is well written, and I like your writing style and how you show the changes in the friend, and then the ending when they came to you! Very relatable!

on Jan. 13 2014 at 10:59 am
EmmaClaire0823 GOLD, Bay Minette, Alabama
13 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

I really like the concept, but the format and structure of the poem was very distracting to me. I would suggest breaking it apart into stanza's and lines instead of sentences and paragraphs. Also, you could use a wider vocabulary. Most of the words you used were generic and I think you could have found words with more depth. Again, the concept is brilliant, and quite relatable, but I would highly highly suggest putting it in poem format. Good job!

on Jan. 11 2014 at 10:46 pm
SlowEternity BRONZE, Big Lake, Minnesota
4 articles 15 photos 79 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love is like a wildfire; It knows no boundaries.- Em

I like it! A lot!

on Jan. 11 2014 at 7:16 pm
RoyalCorona SILVER, Grand Rapids, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 290 comments

Favorite Quote:
All of us fave failed to match our dream of perfection. I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible. -William Faulkner

I really don't see anything wrong with this at all but I would have liked it if you had put it into a poem form or stanzas. I quite liked it! Nice job!

JRaye PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 9 2014 at 7:02 pm
JRaye PLATINUM, Dorr, Michigan
43 articles 10 photos 523 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you build your house far enough away from Trouble, then Trouble will never find you."

"Have you ever looked fear in the face and said, 'I just don't care.'?"

So, I was going to write something like, "This is cool, but it's very typical - the girl becomes distant from the friend she used to know. You should try putting a spin on it." And then I looked up at the title of what I was reading. (Blonde moment on my part...) And you did! A very creative spin, I might add. This was really good! I do feel like it would've been better if you'd formatted it like a poem, but other than that it was very unique :)

on Jan. 8 2014 at 3:22 pm
9spaceking PLATINUM, Chantily, Virginia
25 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger, comedy is when you fall into a sewer hole and die."

what a cool poem!

on Jan. 6 2014 at 11:42 am
CallMeAria PLATINUM, Vancouver, Other
30 articles 27 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:

saw your forum and decided to check this out. depsite the length, I was interested for the entire poem. It has a unique point of view, and shows a girl growing up. It had a little bit of a Toy Story feel to it (I mean this is compliment) Lots of good details!

Skiman GOLD said...
on Jan. 5 2014 at 10:26 pm
Skiman GOLD, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
13 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There is a time and a place for everything." - Professor Oak

So I think this could actually make a really amazing poem, although lengthy. Its got great word choice, all its missing is some effective line breaks.

on Jan. 5 2014 at 6:52 pm
Ray--yo PLATINUM, Kathmandu, Other
43 articles 2 photos 581 comments

Favorite Quote:
God Makes No Mistakes. (Gaga?)
"I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right." -Liesel Meminger via Markus Zusac, "The Book Thief"

I agree with other commenters here, this would have made a great short story. Being a guy, I don't think I can relate to its depth, but it was still very, sweet. I was constantly reminded of Toy Story and Woody's expressions while I was reading it, so maybe a bit more work is needed on the descriptions. All in all, great job! And I'd love it if you commented on some of my work too, if you have the time. Thanks!

on Jan. 4 2014 at 5:54 pm
Carly_Elizabeth PLATINUM, Othello, Washington
39 articles 0 photos 131 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."
Roald Dahl

Ah! This was good. Although I can't say I share the same connection with a barbie cause I never had one, (I grew up with an older brother so my dolls were hot wheels trucks haha) But still I loved it. I loved how you put it from the perspective of the doll. It reminded me of Toy Story haha. Um I agree with BandGeekAndProud that it would have fit better as a short story cause it's pretty lengthy and its got that sort of chopped emotion (idk if you know what I mean haha). Anywhose I would just say that work on "show not tell" (I tell everyone to work on this cause it's just something that everyone does cause it's hard haha) So try describing things rather than saying what's happening. Does that make sense?? Idk. Anywhose, I thoroughly enjoyed this. So keep it up! :D

on Jan. 4 2014 at 1:01 am
BandGeekAndProud PLATINUM, Burlington, Massachusetts
23 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Imagination is more important than knowledge."
Albert Einstein

Tis is very good - however, it's a bit lengthy and blocky for a poem. It may fall under more of a short story or fiction heading, and it could get more attention from an audience better suited for it there. Just a thought. Anyway, I really liked it. Keep writing!

Alycia. BRONZE said...
on Jan. 3 2014 at 3:36 pm
Alycia. BRONZE, Lower Gwynedd, Pennsylvania
4 articles 8 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Our lives are not our own. We are bound to others, past and present, and by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future.” -- David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas

Awww, I love how Barbie is an eternal friend in this poem!! Great poem!

on Jan. 1 2014 at 9:54 pm
Myvoice4change SILVER, Other, Other
9 articles 3 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."

This was written really well!

on Jan. 1 2014 at 5:00 pm
Shahrier PLATINUM, Colma, California
28 articles 10 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm a river that no longer flows" - a friend
"when the people lead, leaders follow" - Gandhi

that was amazing. it sent shiver down my spine. i hate to grab for attention, but can you read my poems too? i resently started posting poems, and i havent gotten any feedback on them. *i saw your post on the threads*