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Nightmare

November 27, 2013
By Myvoice4change SILVER, Other, Other
More by this author
Myvoice4change SILVER, Other, Other
9 articles 3 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."

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It's like an epidemic, it seems it's everywhere
so many people are caught in this nightmare
you hear about victims losing their hair
and the tortures they go through
the endless pain
that they must bear,
hoping that they won't lose.

But too many fight in vain
and our hearts break
from what it takes
from what it leaves-
scars that do not quickly heal.

It's a disease that affects so many people,
hurts countless families,
makes haunting memories,
and is well-known for being lethal-
for bringing dreams to an end
and the survivors live with the fear that it could come back again.

We're praying, begging, for someone to find a cure,
praying that the ones fighting can hold on and endure
meanwhile scientist keep searching for a cause and a solution,
trying to come up with a conclusion.

Win or lose?
life or death?
how much time is left?
so many questions
but through whatever-
forever-
we are safe-
in the middle of the war
or at the end of the losing fight
when we can't hope anymore
or when things are looking bright.

But our hearts are breaking
from what it's taking
and we are aching
for new hope, for a way-
a way to end this heartbreak
but we know
God will help us through the sorrow
He's right here
through the fear
through the nightmare
of cancer.

© Martha V., Morton Grove, IL

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 13 comments.

LoveBeingTissa BRONZE said...
on Jan. 8 2014 at 12:22 pm
LoveBeingTissa BRONZE, Al Ajman, Other
1 article 0 photos 2 comments
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superb wrk!!! a 5 frm me too!!!
EmmaClaire0823 GOLD said...
on Jan. 7 2014 at 12:07 pm
EmmaClaire0823 GOLD, Bay Minette, Alabama
13 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

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Good job! You captured the emotion very well. I would say you should reconisder word choice. The vocabulary isn't as complex as the subject so I think you should find words that better convay your thoughts. Also, the poem about cancer and disease has been done very often. I would find something that sets your poem apart from all of them. Maybe use more figurative language, more similies, personal experience, etc. I just feel like I've read this type of material several times and you should find a way to make your poem stand out. The stanzas were beautifully organized and catagorized. Also, the first several lines are written very well, because they captivate the audience. It draws them in. I hope this helped. 
BurrThistle GOLD said...
on Jan. 5 2014 at 2:47 am
BurrThistle GOLD, Jaipur, Other
10 articles 0 photos 161 comments

Favorite Quote:
Write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect

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Good job! I can relate, my grandmother had breast cancer. If you feel like, you should check out my piece "The Epiphany", It's also about cancer. Keep Writing.  
Myvoice4change SILVER said...
on Dec. 29 2013 at 8:45 am
Myvoice4change SILVER, Other, Other
9 articles 3 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."

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Hi guys, thank you! I actually wrote this a couple years ago, so it could use some revising, I just have to figure out how to start!lol
JulePearl BRONZE said...
on Dec. 28 2013 at 10:29 pm
JulePearl BRONZE, Harlingen, Texas
2 articles 0 photos 29 comments
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Great job! I think you did a wonderful job of showing the awful affects of cancer throughout the poem. Personally though, I would think about putting this more into a story form than a poem form. I think you could bring deeper meaning to your words by adding a story to them. That being said, I absolutely love what you wrote! 
BandGeekAndProud PLATINUM said...
on Dec. 28 2013 at 9:40 pm
BandGeekAndProud PLATINUM, Burlington, Massachusetts
23 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Imagination is more important than knowledge.&quot;<br /> Albert Einstein

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I liked this a lot. You really capture the emotions you set out for - fear, panic. It's beautiful. I do have some constructive criticism, though. The rhymes you use take away from the seriousness of your topic, I think. It sounds a little singsongy, and I don't know if that's what you were going for, contrasting the childish singsong with the bitter reality of death. That's how I took it, but I don't know if others would see it that way. That said, it was a very good poem overall. I give it 4/5. :)
Myvoice4change SILVER said...
on Dec. 28 2013 at 9:01 pm
Myvoice4change SILVER, Other, Other
9 articles 3 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Everything will be ok in the end. If it&#039;s not okay, it&#039;s not the end.&quot;

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Ohh, good idea!  
Cat521 SILVER said...
on Dec. 28 2013 at 8:15 pm
Cat521 SILVER, Berwick, Maine
6 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Think, before you speak. Know, before you react. Love, before you hate. There is far too much anger and hatred in the world for you to be the cause of anymore.&quot;

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This is really nice and the rhyme scheme is interesting because it's literary style keeps you interested, and the topic is beautiful. You may want to consider some of your word choices and make them more intense to relate to the topic just a bit more. The stanzas themself are well constructed
NaaThompson GOLD said...
on Dec. 28 2013 at 12:42 am
NaaThompson GOLD, Allston, Massachusetts
10 articles 0 photos 74 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you don&#039;t like someone&#039;s story, write your own. -Chinua Achebe

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  You're a phenomenal writer. Excellent work. 5 stars
RollerDerbyRocker PLATINUM said...
on Dec. 27 2013 at 6:18 pm
RollerDerbyRocker PLATINUM, Portland, Oregon
24 articles 1 photo 9 comments
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This is VERY realistic to cancer and i would know because most of my familys died from it! Anywho it was very good!!
Mollybug16 BRONZE said...
on Dec. 25 2013 at 11:06 pm
Mollybug16 BRONZE, Cleveland, Tennessee
4 articles 0 photos 120 comments

Favorite Quote:
Impossible is not a word, it&#039;s just a reason for someone not to try.

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This actually made me want to cry... my aunt has brain cancer so I can relate to it. The emotion in it is very realistic and I really love how it flows. 5 stars!
Firefaerie SILVER said...
on Dec. 20 2013 at 10:06 pm
Firefaerie SILVER, Austin, Texas
6 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Do not pity the dead. pity the living, and above all, those who live without love&quot; - J.K Rowling<br /> &quot;There&#039;s always another secret&quot; -Brandon Sanderson

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I can't relate to the cancer, but the way you write it... Idk I feel as if it's something we've all gone through
author_musical PLATINUM said...
on Dec. 20 2013 at 8:24 pm
author_musical PLATINUM, Torrington, Wyoming
27 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sweetie, if you&#039;re going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty. - Marilyn Monroe

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wow that is really powerful and strong. a lot of my family is affected by cancer... i have a really high chance to be an orphan by the time I'm 25. it really speaks to me