Without Change | Teen Ink

Without Change

November 17, 2013
By Shahrier PLATINUM, Colma, California
Shahrier PLATINUM, Colma, California
28 articles 10 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm a river that no longer flows" - a friend
"when the people lead, leaders follow" - Gandhi


Another day in our lives
Playing around with blades and knives
Nothing to do but sit around and cry
What I knew was just a lie

People talk and then they stop
Always scared for the ball to drop
I can hear them whisper through my soul
All the things that are left untold

Another day, another year
Optimistic, yet living in fear
Something lost, nothing to gain
Happiness infused with pain

Another day, another chance
To be happy enough to dance,
To hope and have life get better.
Life is nothing but sour and bitter.

Another day, another miss
Waiting for life’s simple bliss
Should I tell her, let her know?
Can I handle another blow?

Should I stop, should I go?
Should I ignore, should I know?


The author's comments:
Help me.

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This article has 2 comments.


on Jan. 1 2014 at 5:51 pm
Shahrier PLATINUM, Colma, California
28 articles 10 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm a river that no longer flows" - a friend
"when the people lead, leaders follow" - Gandhi

i will try. thank you :)

on Jan. 1 2014 at 5:31 pm
Metalhead36 SILVER, Amherst, Massachusetts
8 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality. - Edgar Allan Poe

The repetition is very good, as well as keeping the pace of the poem moving. In terms of improvement, your poems have a very similar feel. WIth this style of rhyme, try to expand. Overall, quite good, but try expanding your horizons a little bit.