I do not know what to call this feeling.

I feel a wanting love and a deep hatred. I cry and laugh at the same thing.
I feel the fear of everything and the saddness of a broken heart. The fear and saddness overwhelm me at times and I want to scream.
In this new place, with new faces, I want to fit in, but I am afraid to show the real me.
I act tough and fearless when I am really afraid to even blink, knowing that even the slightest move of my wall could bring it crashing down at my feet.
I cry everyday, wishing for the love and friendship I once had. I feel empty without the smiling faces and words of play from home.
This is not a place to love, but a place to hate. This building was made to keep the bad and devious from getting into the world, but I am now in the very middle of it.
I drown in the hope of a light to pull me out of this deep depression. I want to run out of this place, but the eyes of the ones holding me wont even blink to let me escape.
I feel lonley in this prison not ment for me. With no one to cheer me up, I fall into a darkness that I shall never return from.
I stare up toward the light, watching the world above. They stare down at me like im nothing.
I reach up to come back but they shove me fartherinto the darkness. This place is not meant for me, I belong with the ones I love and the ones who love me.
I want to go home, I say, but no one hears me. My mouth is open, but no sound comes out. I wish for my friends and the life I used to have.
I sometimes wonder what I did to ruin my life. In about a month, my life was in ruins, everything that I knew and loved was gone, never to come back.

This is why my feelings are undecided...