Thinking
I’m thinking again.
I thought I would be done for a while,
after what happened this summer.
All those cold, harsh words no one else could hear.
But no.
Thinking is the worst thing
because you see all the facts and you throw in
extra stuff to think about and it all becomes real.
And you don’t want it to be real.

You face the cold, hard truth,
and all of these thoughts are just too much sometimes.
You fear thinking the words in your head,
so you try not to think at all.
But it doesn't always work.
I wish I could stop thinking long enough to just
fall asleep.

Can’t I find a place,
just for a few hours,
where I can escape all these voices screaming in my head,
gnawing away at any hope I have left?
I’m trying as hard as I can to just get away.
But I know that can’t happen.
I’m still thinking.