I burned sugar today, and it smelled like Christmas
Because Christmas smells like mistakes,
And sweet, broken promises
I took some of the sugar
And locked it inside a mason jar.

Fall has begun
In places where seasons exist, fall is
Red, orange, and caramel
Chilly afternoons and long coats
But when I look out the window,
I still see green.

Maybe California’s leaves tried too hard to hoard fall
And ended up letting it slip through
Their sad pockets
Maybe New York’s leaves were born with fall
I went outside and grabbed a few leaves that were
Too green, and too sad
And put them in my mason jar.

At least we have the beach.
The next time I go to Laguna, I’ll bring my mason jar with me
So when the ocean finds its way into my veins and
Twirls around my spine
And when the sea spray glides over my eyelashes

When I breathe a half-second too late
To submerge myself under the crash
When my lungs taste like salt
And my body feels empty
And my bones feel like broken seashells
I will take the water from that wave
And lock it inside my mason jar.

So when you whisper your dreams
Into the hollows of my collarbone,
I will remember my own
And how blissful they used to be

Then, I will take out my mason jar
And remind myself
Why Christmas smells like burnt honey
And why my dreams will remain broken