Celestial Space | Teen Ink

Celestial Space

June 20, 2013
By LexusMarie PLATINUM, Las Cruces, New Mexico
LexusMarie PLATINUM, Las Cruces, New Mexico
27 articles 0 photos 423 comments

Favorite Quote:
The more control you have over yourself, the less control others have over you.

You and I are celestial;
‘us’ has shifted and floated to space.
There’s no telescope I could buy
that could find the galaxy with our memories.
At a time you were my idol
then our friendship was idolized,
but now we are only problematic.
I heard their fatuous words to you
but I sought no worry as you were extrovert.
You were right;
I am not good with assumptions or observations:
my greatest hamartia.
Looking back I see you were introvert,
I wish I’d noticed sooner.
You told me you had athazagoraphobia;
you were afraid of being forgotten.
I’ll never forget you, but I think you’ve forgotten me.
Visiting you was scary:
your face, once so guileless was now cadaverous.
It was like looking through a kaleidoscope;
the pigment in your skin seeping,
the shape of your body melting,
the sound of your voice suppressed.
Past my Suburban I walked
and down the street I ran to your house.
That’s when I got nyctophobia.
Dark was your house and dark was your face.
Dark was engulfing me like your cigar smoke.
It held me down just as their words held you…
My eyelids, stopping the tears, closed;
I saw your guileless face and our cheeks touched.
You said, ‘Let’s get away from here. They’re not like us.’
I pushed you away and suddenly you turned to star dust.
I woke with hands desperate for your grasp
and a mind depraved.
And then I got oneirophobia.
I am afraid of dreams. I am afraid of the dark.
I am afraid of knowing that you are dead.
For you, for us, I should have looked further into space.
I should have seen that they hurt you.
But, at least we aren’t celestial any longer:
I have memory of you now, in your casket.

The author's comments:
This is my second non-rhyming poem. It sort of came to me. It's rather long, but I hope you enjoy it.

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This article has 11 comments.

on Aug. 19 2013 at 9:59 am
estucker1998 PLATINUM, Tuscaloosa, Alabama
20 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
The voracious ambition of humans is never sated by dreams coming true, because of the thought that everything may be done better and again. --John Green, The Fault in Our Stars.

Wow. That was great--as always. It took me a minute to get the story, but once I did, it was fantastic. I loved how you put in all the different kinds of fears, and I love the show of their friendship and how you show what happens after the first friend dies. Beautiful, in a terribly haunting sort of way. I have a few new things if you want to check them out, by the way. 

on Aug. 1 2013 at 11:08 am
Labradorian PLATINUM, Chicago, Illinois
34 articles 0 photos 52 comments
I've read a few of your rhyming poems, and after reading this, I can tell you I seriously suggest you dipping into more free verse. You have an elloquence that really revealed itself in a poem without the confines of rhyme sceme, and I was really impressed with not only your vocabulary, but how you used it for repetition of themes and emotions. Definately five stars. I look forward tor eading more.

Mckay ELITE said...
on Jul. 23 2013 at 5:14 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

At first, I was like, "What the h*ll is Lexus talking about fears?" But when I got to the end, I understood it all. Lexus, this is marvelous. Absolutely marvelous. I could visualize everything. It reminded me of the stars go out one by one, except this one is slightly happier. I love love love love love love love love (8 HA!) the emotion in this. How the guy promises to run away then becomes star dust. It's like Coldplay music video. With all the colors and stars. Truly beautiful. And thank you for teaching us all these phobias. 

bree_bree GOLD said...
on Jul. 3 2013 at 5:07 pm
bree_bree GOLD, Auburn, Kentucky
12 articles 0 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
mistakes are made to be learned from.

I love this peice its thoughtfull and the fact that you use big words makes me feel like im not the only person who likes them :) the emotions kind of seep into you as your reading and i really like that. Great work.

on Jun. 30 2013 at 4:40 am
thatunknownthing DIAMOND, Dubai, Other
67 articles 0 photos 208 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift; that's why they call it the present"

Whoa, good poetry here, great vocab, and smooth. I liked it. 4/5 :) Feedback on some of my stuff if you can?

on Jun. 29 2013 at 8:19 pm
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD, No Where, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 444 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.” –David Letterman

PHOBIA CENTRAL RIGHT HERE.Okay, I love this poem and how you used "hamartia." My only suggestion is that you try not to let big vocabulary get in the way of the poem's overall rhythm. Otherwise, awesome job!

on Jun. 27 2013 at 3:04 pm
Court901 BRONZE, Magnolia, Texas
4 articles 0 photos 57 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Imagniation is not a talent of some people, but it is the health of every person" -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Your diction is wonderful. This is so different from all the "simple" poems I'm used to reading. This is deep and meaningful and full of amazing descriptions. Great job.

on Jun. 25 2013 at 7:50 pm
SoulPoetry PLATINUM, Sierra Madre, California
29 articles 4 photos 69 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I will work harder" (animal farm boxer the horse)

(clap) (clap) (clap) bravo Lexus, another job well done! I love all the little phobias you wrote in this poem :P You're such a wonderful poet and your words are stiched together so perfectly :) keep up the good work!!! :D

on Jun. 24 2013 at 8:52 pm
GraphicWriter DIAMOND, Yuba City, California
63 articles 10 photos 89 comments
Holy words of amazement that aren't aloud to be posted! I found all your phobias in this poem very intriguing, very smart and witty. It was gripping and awesome, the only thing that I didn't like was that the beginning and the end weren't very connect; like those strings got cut off somewhere in the middle. But very good. Very captivating.

on Jun. 24 2013 at 8:11 pm
Laugh-it-Out PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York, New York
38 articles 0 photos 445 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light" --Dylan Thomas

Omg Lexus this was frikin amazing!!! I love this more than words can describe. Soooooo amazing.i am just trying to get over it. My hear litteraly stopped this was so good. For a second non rhyming poem this was amazing. I love It. I am favoriting it. Oh and by the way, i wanted to ask you if I could borrow your thank you poem idea and like have the poem titles woven into the poem. That poem was also one of my favorites. Amazing job Lexus . Keep rockin

on Jun. 22 2013 at 7:50 pm
Wings10FeetTall GOLD, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
17 articles 0 photos 332 comments

Favorite Quote:
May your words be sharp.
- Christopher Paolini

Nobody's going to wait for you, so do it now.
-Ingrid Michaelson

Broken hearts heal, but never the same.
- Jessica Romo

Idiots rely on luck.
-Sherlock Holmes

WOW!!!!! This is AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I loved the way that you kept using different tyoes of phobias. And I'm glad that you said what they mean, because I had no idea! Great job, Lexus!