The Dance of the Souls | Teen Ink

The Dance of the Souls

May 20, 2013
By LexusMarie PLATINUM, Las Cruces, New Mexico
LexusMarie PLATINUM, Las Cruces, New Mexico
27 articles 0 photos 423 comments

Favorite Quote:
The more control you have over yourself, the less control others have over you.

You take my hand and spin me round
our feet whisper as they tiptoe on the ground.
I'm entangled in you as you pull me close
hold me soft while we move to and fro.
Now you're standing rather near,
the lights go out but I have no fear.
Still, the band will play and the chords will stream.
I am enraptured by your moves so heavenly.
Something here is too sublime,
maybe our lovely dancing vibe?
In the dark I see your fading smile
and the sparkle in your sequin eyes seem revile.
Before we swayed in such perfect motion
I thought what you offered was true devotion.
Now, dear, you've discovered your true faith
I wish you weren't finding out so late.
You look into me with wicked eyes
that look to ask, 'Please, tell me why?'
You're an elegant being dancing in the dark
don't try to put out your never ending spark.
The dance of the souls is forever eternal
but please don't act like it's infernal.
From one lifetime to another
you and I were sent to find each other.
Just keep your grip and waltz with me
while remembering this is your eternity.

The author's comments:
On Thursday I danced for the very first time and decided I really liked it. THEN I danced today and found it very difficult. Anyways, after dancing I decided to write a poem about dancing for the first time and it being with the guy I liked. But, it turned into something else and here we are.

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This article has 24 comments.

mnm08 BRONZE said...
on Jan. 30 2014 at 11:39 pm
mnm08 BRONZE, Grande Prairie, Texas
2 articles 0 photos 69 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A writer needs the industry of an ant, the creativity of a kitten and the hid of an armadillo."- Author Unknown

I have danced before, just not with a person I really liked. However, I can still understand this poem. It's very genuine and pure. I like it :) 

Mckay ELITE said...
on Jun. 19 2013 at 2:38 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

I've never danced before. So I don't know the feeling. But I do like this poem. The title, the picture you create. And the last two lines are my favorite. Maybe my favorite last two lines in a poem by you. Well done, Lexus as always. Hope your summer is great. 

on Jun. 9 2013 at 11:44 pm
crayola_green BRONZE, Somewhere Near A Corn Field, Other
1 article 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is... his good, pleasing, and perfect will.
-Romans 12:2 (NIV)

As a girl who's been in dance classes for over 13 years, I was intrigued by your title. It fits the poem because the words do their own dance and often weave together nicely. I noticed that sometimes you use near-rhymes and assonance, while other times the rhymes at the end seem a bit forced. Your words flow together really naturally when you let them :) I really enjoyed your themes of eternity and a meaning beyond the immediate. Nice job!

on Jun. 9 2013 at 10:02 am
SincerelyManon GOLD, Holyoke, Massachusetts
10 articles 0 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
Memories are the only things that don't change when everything else does.

The pure, unique aspects of this poem are fantastic! I absolutely love this piece!:)

HazelGrace said...
on Jun. 8 2013 at 6:24 pm
aww this is just a lovely little poem.. the rythmand descrptions gave me the sense that the words were dancing together to create your poem and ah its just great!

bree_bree GOLD said...
on Jun. 2 2013 at 12:39 pm
bree_bree GOLD, Auburn, Kentucky
12 articles 0 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
mistakes are made to be learned from.

I really enjoyed this :) the way it ebbs and flows is almost hypnotic in a sence. there were a few hicups i saw if you wanted some help smothing them out i mean no offence, i really love your peace. could you take a look at "Something Wicked This Way Comes" please it is in the forums thank you.

emmagm BRONZE said...
on May. 31 2013 at 8:21 pm
emmagm BRONZE, Montclair, New Jersey
3 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"What is the point of being alive if you don't at least try to do something remarkable?"

I love this! The language and rhymes flow really well and I can see everything clearly. There are a lot of beautiful and stunning lines. Really nice work!

on May. 31 2013 at 4:09 pm
SimplyErica SILVER, San Marcos, California
6 articles 1 photo 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love is something unconditional. It continues to live even when everything dies." - By Me ♥

I love it! It is so easy to picture yourself in the situation with the discripitiveness. (:

on May. 30 2013 at 11:36 pm
SoulPoetry PLATINUM, Sierra Madre, California
29 articles 4 photos 69 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I will work harder" (animal farm boxer the horse)

LOVELY :) this poem is so vivid and musical as well. i love the flow and emotions in it :) keep up the great work/

on May. 30 2013 at 6:34 pm
WolfsBane SILVER, Kerrville, Texas
8 articles 3 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Death in anonymity is the ultimate insult to human dignity.”
-Kathy Reichs

I liked it. Very moving and powerful. I particularally liked the part starting with "I am enraptured by your moves so heavenly."

Lysergia said...
on May. 30 2013 at 6:09 am
Lysergia, Washougal, Washington
0 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Look down at me and you see a fool;
look up at me and you see a god;
look straight at me and you see yourself”

You have talent. I benefited from from this by learning a new word. B)

on May. 29 2013 at 5:53 pm
candlelightwriter GOLD, Kirksville, Missouri
16 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Secretly we're all a little more absurd than we make ourselves out to be"-- J.K. Rowling.

"Just keep your grip and waltz with me while remembering this is your eternity." That last line gave me chills. I've heard stories that in old haunted dance halls and hotels it is not uncommon to see ghosts dancing together on occasion. That's what this reminds me of. Love it. Good work.

on May. 29 2013 at 4:28 am
SaphiraBrightscales DIAMOND, Islamabad, Other
75 articles 16 photos 1136 comments

Favorite Quote:
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou
When i was little/I used to point a chubby finger toward the dark sky/And ask my father/why some stars moved and others didn’t/He would laugh and explain that some were airplanes/I still wish on them today ~ Laugh-It-Out
The feathers of a crow are black/The ink of my pen is blacker/The pain of my heart is blackest~ Mckay
If love produced a blossom/I’d take it in my palm/What a blessing, the bright color!/How soothing, such a balm!/I’d keep a petal for my own/The rest, drop from my hands/For such a flower would multiply/And populate the lands~ thesilentraven
And I began to rival legends/Long entombed before my birth./But for all my much envied fame/The lust for more would not abate./The plaques and prizes with my name/Will, like all things, disintegrate. ~ TheEpic95 now known as Helena_Noel

Lexus,, I gotta say I'm absolutely in love wth your stunning rhymes. You're really good at this thing... Also it seemed to as if each last word, that is each rhyming word was the word that gave REAL life to each line,, maybe it's just me but the last words from each line were most potent.. I kind of liked how that went on throughout. Nice one.

on May. 29 2013 at 1:46 am
TheHuntress BRONZE, Konstancin- Jeziorna, Other
4 articles 0 photos 4 comments
I love your imagery! It actually reminded me of one of my own poems :P The only advice I have it to watch the number of syllables in each line. When they're consistent, it's easier to read. Lovely Poem! ;) 

sarah98 BRONZE said...
on May. 28 2013 at 3:46 pm
sarah98 BRONZE, Holyoke, Massachusetts
1 article 0 photos 405 comments

Favorite Quote:
It is better to write for yourself and have no audience than write for your audience and have no self.

thats great!!

on May. 28 2013 at 3:30 pm
papayajuice13 GOLD, Tel Aviv, Other
12 articles 0 photos 26 comments
Nice poem :)

on May. 28 2013 at 11:29 am
Akanekusa SILVER, Jersey City, New Jersey
5 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Art is messy"-Miss.Berry(My fave art teacher)
Q:"how-when did you come?"-Anybody/A:Magic"-Me
"Liquid sounds so unique"-My Sis

Thatsssssssooooooobeautiiiffffuuulll!!!!!anddd sooo sweeeeeettt!!!!!!

on May. 27 2013 at 8:31 pm
Rebecca.xx BRONZE, Springboro, Ohio
4 articles 3 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity."
-Edgar Allan Poe
(this summarizes my life)

Wonderful poem. Deep, interesting, everything. I honestly don't think I have any criticism- keep writing!

on May. 27 2013 at 7:17 pm
Fallen_ PLATINUM, Quakertown, Pennsylvania
25 articles 3 photos 433 comments

Favorite Quote:
" a shattered world is only an opening into a new beginning with laughs, smiles, and love all around enter the world of the light and away from the broken darkness"

Hey there (thanks forr eading my poem by the way) and anyway i love that it's about a dance poem but its so much more i love how its the dancing and the fun but then in turns to something magical like the lifetimes of you dancing with your one it was amazing and beutiful and it just sent chills down my back with pure pleasure so keep it up and P.s i loved your rymth so 5/5 stars you deserved it soo much.

on May. 27 2013 at 4:20 pm
RoyalCorona SILVER, Grand Rapids, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 290 comments

Favorite Quote:
All of us fave failed to match our dream of perfection. I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible. -William Faulkner

It was so beautiful!! Great job!