Love
Inevitably disappoints.
No matter how sure,
No matter how certain you are,
Swept away by the breathlessness of a fleeting
And unfortunately
Night Ephemeral,
It leaves you in the dust.
Matted hair, covered in grime,
A feeling of hollow hopelessness
Tickling in the back of your throat.
Like the hot, dry wind of the desert
Whispering across my body tied to
Train tracks.
I believe I hear a train, and my heart begins to race.
I swear I hear it approaching,
But I realize it was only in my head,
And that the trains no longer run through here.
The, Middle of Nowhere.
And it is in this metaphor that I realize
Something:
Your mind can destroy you.
With the constant, ceaseless,
Unchanging doubt
Something that grips your very heart
And wrenches it apart
Into two ragged pieces.
I’ve come to find, the
Joy doesn’t last
It
Fires like a gun
But like all sounds
It fades into an echo off of the surrounding
Hills
A distant reminder of history made
In only a few minutes.
A hand that touches the other
Sensory on the piano
As the sweet, tender music of love lost and found
Reverberates through the strings…
A damper pedal of life,
Lingering softly,
Drawing it out,
And then
It’s gone.
Only a mere reminiscence of the chord that tarries
The remainder of the sound hangs in the air
Though
And it lays suspended at my feet.
I do not know how,
Or what I should feel right now.
I thought that maybe we’d have a chance.
But I think that every time,
And the fact of the matter is
Maybe it is never going to
“Work out”.
My best friend believes it will happen
But perhaps I’ve taken these baby steps
At far too quick a pace.
No one can help me,
Not here on this earth,
And to even begin to ask God for such
Pettiness as this
Sickens me.
There comes a point where I do not even know what
To pray for.
Reciprocation?
Acknowledgement?
I thought letting things happen,
Just allowing the cards to fall however they like
Would work—but it doesn’t.
Because, when you try to take control of
Having no control,
It kills
You.