Knowing a Spark in my Heart | Teen Ink

Knowing a Spark in my Heart

May 13, 2013
By Metalhead08 GOLD, Port Republic, Maryland
Metalhead08 GOLD, Port Republic, Maryland
15 articles 0 photos 78 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'd rather hate you for everything you are. Than ever love you for something you are not. " FFDP "You're born alone and you die alone" FFDP "I wonder out where you can't see, inside my shell I wait and bleed." Slipknot " If youre 555 then I am 666"


Knowing someday in the end
You might be mine once again
A return to a warm embrace
A smile upon my face
That endless dream
Keeps me holding on, mending the broken seams
You are mine
As I am yours
My broken heart beats once more
Blood no longer falls like tears from an open door
As I fall into the depths of the abyss
You're there to catch me as I do this
Saving me from the tormenting fire
You are my sweet desire
Take me and make me yours
While we go under the stars of night
While our hearts beat as one
Not wanting to come undone
No measure of time is enough
I know it's gonna be tough
i will give you my all, if you give me a chance
For one more dance
I'll show you tonight how you have lit up my life
I'm not ready to give up hope
You are the one I dream about
I have no doubt
You are the one for me
I can't let this be
You are the one I love
Truly and unconditionally mine to love forever, my dove


The author's comments:
I really love this guy I made this mistake to breakup with to make others happy. Breaking up was the worst regret I have to live with.

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This article has 5 comments.


on Jun. 11 2013 at 7:16 pm
Metalhead08 GOLD, Port Republic, Maryland
15 articles 0 photos 78 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'd rather hate you for everything you are. Than ever love you for something you are not. " FFDP "You're born alone and you die alone" FFDP "I wonder out where you can't see, inside my shell I wait and bleed." Slipknot " If youre 555 then I am 666"

Thankyou for your comment! i will work on adventuring and breaking free of my typical structure. I have issues with ALOT of the topics i write about not being able to be submitted due to the content of it being too dark and creepy. Thank you for your critical critizism it means alot to me.

ephemeral GOLD said...
on Jun. 2 2013 at 6:29 pm
ephemeral GOLD, Park City, Utah
17 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All that is gold does not glitter/Not all those who wander are lost/The old that is strong does not wither/Deep roots are not reached by the frost"

What with the rhyme scheme, as well as the topic on love and breakups, I'd totally encourage you to experiment with free verse, and lay it out as though you were just breathing, and talking. I'd love to see your talent applied to that kind of venture, because the pathos and emotion in your poetry is evident, but your rhyming sometimes comes out awkward or forced. Unless you actually called him my dove, then I guess that's okay. I'm just dying to see you break free of what you think the restraints are in poetry--it doesn't always have to rhyme. I say take it and run with it, yeah?

on May. 22 2013 at 6:05 pm
Metalhead08 GOLD, Port Republic, Maryland
15 articles 0 photos 78 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'd rather hate you for everything you are. Than ever love you for something you are not. " FFDP "You're born alone and you die alone" FFDP "I wonder out where you can't see, inside my shell I wait and bleed." Slipknot " If youre 555 then I am 666"

I know! The end scheme is ABAB but my format got messed up :( I was extremely disappointed!

on May. 22 2013 at 4:54 pm
Rebecca.xx BRONZE, Springboro, Ohio
4 articles 3 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity."
-Edgar Allan Poe
(this summarizes my life)

Content wise, I like tis poem a lot. However, your rhyme scheme was....odd. There was a bit of free verse, a bit of ABAB, a bit of AABB and I couldn't understand what you were going for.

on May. 20 2013 at 1:11 pm
Metalhead08 GOLD, Port Republic, Maryland
15 articles 0 photos 78 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'd rather hate you for everything you are. Than ever love you for something you are not. " FFDP "You're born alone and you die alone" FFDP "I wonder out where you can't see, inside my shell I wait and bleed." Slipknot " If youre 555 then I am 666"

Feel free to comment and rate! I would much appreciate it!