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I'm Tired
May 8, 2013
I'm tired
of trusting people
I'm tired
of being hurt
I'm tired
of being lied to
I'm tired
of you
I'm tired...
© Anonymous
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 5 comments.
Potterhead_Is_amazing GOLD said...
on Aug. 24 2013 at 5:10 pm
I hate to be mean but I kind of have to agree with Shade on this one. I mean, I value simplicity in a poem; It's one of the things that makes a great poem. But you kind of made it SO simple that it was boring and you didn't really mean anything by it. It was like you kind of just didn't want to do anything with it. I mean, the theme is a good one, but you kind of just didn't ADD anything to it,you didn't put in that extra SHAZAM,you just put down the bare baisics and left it like that, like you gave it a body, but nothing else. I agree with shade, if you could just make a second draft, and, so to speak, give it some clothes. It would be much better.
..... Well...... I mean..... I don't want to hurt you or anything, but where did you think that this was going? It's boring, it's repetitive, it fails to get any emotion out of me. It seems like you were writing a poem, but decided not to use it, so you placed it here. I mean, I can relate to the feeling, but in a poem this simple, I just can't feel anything. You've gotta improve on this. I know that you can.
Sarah_Rose17 SILVER said...
on May. 31 2013 at 11:03 pm
I think the way the poem is written just emphasizes the theme. Its great!!
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