i take in my stringy yellow hair,
the circumference of my thighs, and the dirt under my nails.
the flaws in my skin, like bruises on a peach:
one
two
three
eight
and still more.
my cracked and scabbed lips, those of a monster.


i stare into the blank, soulless eyes in the mirror,
marred by too many stressful days and sleepless nights.
the wraith inside the mirror stares back, smiling with deep-seated malice.
it sees me, sees my insecurities, my weaknesses.
it pushes me and watches me stumble, elated in my defeat.
it whispers to me, tells me of my worthlessness,
like old friends sharing secrets,
we share our opinions of myself,
taking note of every misstep,
counting my failures.

He turns too, and looks in the mirror.
i wonder what He sees.
does He see my failures too?
does He know?
does He know i’m not strong enough?
does He see what it sees?

you look stunning today, My princess.
no. no i don’t. wait. do i?
yes.
i don’t know.
absolutely beautiful. resplendent.
sure.
these eyes, perpetually dancing, breathtaking.
ugh.
and this hair? I made it just so that the sun can catch it, and set fire to the tips.
really?
yes. do you not see your beauty?
you are divine, and I made it so.

i don’t believe Him.
am i really so exquisite?
His thoughts, forever hidden from mine,
and yet,

He never lies.

He finds me beautiful.
divine,
my eyes breathtaking,
my hair long,
the sunlight infused in its strands.

i’m not worthy,
and yet,
i wonder,
does He think otherwise?

i wonder what He sees.

My child?
yes..?
I love you. as you are.

always
and
forever.

and now i know.
i know what He sees.
He sees Me.