I wish that in sleep
I could escape the inner workings
Of my troubled mind
Lose myself in fantasies
Of love and friendship
Or that I could just dully move
Into slumber
A black abyss greeting me
Entering a darkened void
Until morning
Alarm clock blaring a
Discordant melody in my ear
But instead, my dreams are ebonized
Torrential descents into my subconscious
The thoughts that fill my day are expanded
Deepened
And unable to stop my brain
I am lost in a sea of misery
To float or drown as I see fit
Till daylight comes
And I gasp awake, glad for a moment
To escape the nightmares that do not leave
But then I remember that my days are simply my nights
Only now I have to grit my teeth, and force my thoughts
Away from the release I crave
Pretending
Always pretending
Hoping that one day
Through some magical act of mercy and grace
That what I live pretending
Will somehow become my reality
Till then
I am simply stuck in a never ending circle
Unable to escape my mind
Either awake or in slumber
So I sit back and force out a chuckle
What a world, what a world.