How the World Began | Teen Ink

How the World Began

February 16, 2013
By Laugh-it-Out PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York, New York
Laugh-it-Out PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York, New York
38 articles 0 photos 445 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light" --Dylan Thomas

If you look down my street, you'll see all the trees in a line, and the people dotting the sidewalk, heads ducked like the low hanging clouds. Then you cross the street and you stare at the warning read hand flashing to stay back, and the snow turning to slush on the curb. Then you stare at the restaurants under the tall apartments, like the kind you live in, and as you walk to your door you fumble for your keys in your deep winter coat pocket. Once let in you trudge up the 3 flights of stairs to your apartment, and slip your shoes off, and walk into the empty house. Then you sit on your bed and stare at your hands, and as you look up, you realize, that you are nothing more than a person sitting on a bed in a neighborhood that you love, while your parents are away and you think that what if your house never existed? Where would you live? That gets you thinking about if your parents had never met. You would never have been born, and you wouldn't go to the school you go to or had made friends you made. All this info makes your head hurt so you lie down on your bed and imagine how the world started. With dinosaurs and trees and chimps and then people and shacks and wood and wars and more wars and food and famines and water and drought and land and countries and boundaries and states and continents, and skyscrapers and roller-coaster, and Cony Island and Hersey Park and kids and popcorn and movies and theaters and school and everyday life.

If the world had never started, you wouldn't be reading this.

The author's comments:
I had this exact revelation while walking down the street. Who knew that the world was made up of so many weird and seemingly unimportant things? This is a piece to think on.

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This article has 6 comments.

Mckay ELITE said...
on May. 9 2013 at 2:14 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

That last line adds the punch that the poem was leading up to. It adds the final touch. The period if you will. Hmmm....caroilnestarr did add an intersting opinion to this. The poem doens't have the format most poems use. I agree with that. Perhaps it would've worked more as an opinion piece. Yet, I think it adds more to the poem. I found poetic elements to it. Besides, you know me. I'm up for new and interesting and unique formats for poetry. It shouldn't all be the same. Most importantly to this piece is the powerful message. Strong as it should be. 

on Apr. 6 2013 at 12:29 pm
LexusMarie PLATINUM, Las Cruces, New Mexico
27 articles 0 photos 423 comments

Favorite Quote:
The more control you have over yourself, the less control others have over you.

things** :o

on Apr. 6 2013 at 12:29 pm
LexusMarie PLATINUM, Las Cruces, New Mexico
27 articles 0 photos 423 comments

Favorite Quote:
The more control you have over yourself, the less control others have over you.

Your goal here to get people to think, worked, 100% percent! I mean, this is really interesting. I always think these tings too and to be honest it's very overwhelming and a little bit scary, isn't it? It is! The ending.. so, eery!!

on Apr. 1 2013 at 1:48 pm
E.J.Mathews GOLD, International Falls, Minnesota
19 articles 2 photos 145 comments
This piece really got me thinking, and I think that is what makes a piece really great. Amazing job!

on Mar. 29 2013 at 12:06 am
carolinestarr PLATINUM, Ellicott City, Maryland
28 articles 2 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's not about who we are, but who we choose to be."

I don't know if you meant to post this under poetry, but this isn't wehere it should be. Maybe it's an opinion piece? I'm not sure, but it's certainly not poetry. Also, I think it's interesting that you chose to write this in second person. It's not a bad thing, it's just interesting. It's the first thing (other than directions or recipies, of course) that I've read that was written in second person point of view. I think it was a wise choice for this piece. I would never have thought to do that, but it works very well. It makes it very, I don't know...personal, I guess? I hope you uderstand what I'm making a poor attempt to say. Haha. Another thing is that the writing doesn't seem very...mature. Maybe developed is a better word. I don't know how old you are, so it may have something to do with your age. This piece just sounds so young. If you are young, then it's obviously not a problem. You haven't had the time to mature as a writer yet! However, if you are older, this piece is about such a large revelation and I don't think the maturity or sincerity of the writing and word choice does it justice. Do you understand what I'm trying to say? I know what having this epiphany feels like, and it's a very overwhelming feeling. It is extrememely difficult to put into words, I'll give you that, but I think that if I had not already had this epiphany that you are writing about then I wouldn't be able to really appreciatre what you are trying to say. Does that make sense? I hope so. I don't really know how else to say it. Haha

jess14 BRONZE said...
on Feb. 21 2013 at 10:39 am
jess14 BRONZE, New York, New York
4 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We accept the love we think we deserve"

I have never thoguht about this before, but this peice made me think about all of that stuff. Keep writing cause this was amazing! :)