Remembering | Teen Ink

Remembering

January 7, 2013
By Katkin PLATINUM, Three Hills, Other
Katkin PLATINUM, Three Hills, Other
34 articles 24 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Writing is a socially acceptable form of Schizophrenia."


Now how did we get to be so old?
I remember years ago, when we met.
Neither of us had found ourselves yet,
And so it took time to get to know you.
I was strongly opposed to wearing makeup,
And you fit in by sticking out.

We only really started talking in high school,
When things were new and wondrous.
Both of us slowly but surely reinventing ourselves,
Our little traditions taking their first flights.
We flirted and messaged but it was harmless;
Really, flirting isn’t even the right word.
Became close, sharing secrets and dreams,
Each hopeful wish told, every fear laid out.

When did I notice you in a different way?
When you told me about that girl you liked?
Yes, it was then, when I felt violent jealousy
And was surprised by the sheer force of it.
It became my one little secret from you.

We grew up and became adults, but our friendship
Continued onwards, into the bright new world.
Though we were far apart, we stayed close.
Finally, both of us were in town again,
And finally, we could talk face to face.
A coffee shop; you sat there, looking so handsome,
And in that moment, I knew I loved you.

We chatted for hours and you eventually told
My gentle heart about this girl you’d met.
My living, beating heart was instantly turned to stone,
My smile frozen and stiff, false warmth emitting.
I got no sleep that night, my heart crying out
And in the morning, I knew what had to be done.

Our goodbye, my goodbye, my heartbreak,
Words cannot explain well enough.
You were happy and I could not stand in the way.
I did have to share that last secret though,
So you would understand why I was leaving.

Oh, well, I suppose we had thought we were
All grown up then, but we still had much to learn.
Three years, and finally, you messaged me.
You had heard I was back, could we meet?
You had something to say.

My feelings sufficiently in check, I agreed.
Just one last talk, a proper goodbye this time.
That park where we used to take pictures together,
You wanted to meet there, and so we did.
A slight chilly breeze danced around us,
And it was the only sound for a long time.

Then came the awkward, meaningless chatter,
And then I couldn’t stand it anymore.
I asked about your girlfriend, or even wife?
You looked away and so did I, and then,

“We never dated. She left soon after you did.”

Stunned. Confused. Hopeful. Shattered.

“Oh.”

You were trying to say something, what is it?
Imagine my shock when you finally said
You’d had a crush on me in ninth grade.
Then again in eleventh, and then twelfth.
You hid it, because I had hidden it so well too,
How were you to know my hidden feelings?
You had been shocked by my outburst.
and since then, you couldn’t stop your feelings.
They were as strong as mine had been.

I had to ask. “Do you still love me now?”

Just a simple nod and a half smile.
There we stood, in the park, in the wind,
Utterly alone except for each other.

“Well good. Because I still love you too.”

Things changed so much after that,
And so many years have passed since then.
Those years had difficulties and sorrows,
Yet we always got through them, because we were
Together.

Soon we’ll be together again.
You took the next step ahead of me,
But I’m not too far behind.
The lights, and my memories, grow dim,
But I’m not at all worried.
I see your smile again, and your hand;
You reach out, and I take it.


The author's comments:
One day, I'll fall in love too. This is just one way I imagine it happening.

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