I Don't Understand | Teen Ink

I Don't Understand

December 23, 2012
By EatWriteSleep PLATINUM, Orlando, Florida
EatWriteSleep PLATINUM, Orlando, Florida
48 articles 0 photos 38 comments

Favorite Quote:
We are all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars- Oscar Wilde

When will life start making sense?
When will my life sentence finally end?
Spiraling into darkness-
No way out
No matter how hard I scream
I can’t hear my own shouts
This black whole-
It swallowed me up
Don’t feel at home
Don’t trust myself or anyone

Trapped inside my own mind
When will life finally be mine?
These things around my hands
I don’t understand
Weird rubber walls
Where’s my brother Sam?

They keep saying I’m “unhealthy”
What does that mean?
Did Mommy put me here
Just because I was a little mean?
I only tried to kill her
Was that so wrong?
I don’t understand
Why are these things around my hands
So strong?

I don’t get it, Mr. Scientist
Why am I here?
What’s a jury trial
And how come I can’t hear?
What happened?
Could someone please tell me?
I, I swear I didn’t mean to
Won’t you please set me free?

Inside these rubber walls
With these things around my hands
I saw it, I saw it all
I didn’t mean to, won’t you understand?
Mommy, I’m desperate
Won’t you please save me?
Will you take my small hand
And try to explain for me?
I see you through that small glass window, Mommy
Don’t pretend you can’t hear my guttural
Helpless and confused shouts
I just want to feed my turtle Tommy
Will you grab that key and let me out?

A small barcode on my wrist
My pale hair draped around my face
My sanity I can’t be with
Sadly, this little girl can’t be saved

The author's comments:
This is a poem about a little girl who is in a mental hospital. She is so lost and confused and sad and honestly doesn't know how she got into the deep depths of darkness that she did. I just wrote it recently but it has a special place in my heart because sometimes I think I can relate to the little girl's confusion of how she got to be so sad. But unlike the girl I didn't try to kill my other or anything. Sometimes, when your confused, you don't know what's right or wrong anymore.

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