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words
I think about myself
words come to mind
ugly
worthless
insufficient
incompetent
broken
selfish
fat
lazy
cowardly
needy
joyless.
I am empty,
without a home
without a shell
no place to hide these feelings.
I try to shrink them down, under my clothing,
my covers.
I ask for them to be taken away.
but they stay
unbidden.
These thoughts and ideas of discontentment remain.
At times these things well-up in me
too much to bear-
I erupt.
I want to be all that they want me to be.
beautiful
joyful
witty
smart
thin
caring
complete.
So I wait for change.
I wait.
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