I twist my toe back and forth into the rain soaked dirt
beneath my feet where it has been loosened for you.
Trying vainly to focus on
anything
but the torn earth where you will be lowered.

Rivers of tears mix with raindrops on pained faces.
I can’t tell where one begins and the other ends.
I am comforted by this thought,
it gives me shelter from their prying eyes.
Only I can taste the salt of my grief
and I jealously hold on to my sorrow.
It is for you and me only.

We started together,
wrapped in the warmth of our mother’s womb.
A mirror, a companion, a comparison
Two lives, one memory,
A future we’ll never have

I want to grab your hand,
to hug you, to keep you from leaving me.
I can’t.
You are hidden in a cold box,
slowly sinking away.

I can’t say goodbye;
to your infectious laughter,
your smile,
your teasing ways,
and to being your “older” sister.

But it all dies.
Buried with you lies
my past,
my future,
my title; Twin