To Fall | Teen Ink

To Fall

November 10, 2012
By emilycolon BRONZE, Millbrae, California
emilycolon BRONZE, Millbrae, California
3 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;Right now, there are people all over the world who are just like you. They&rsquo;re lonely. They&rsquo;re missing somebody. They&rsquo;re in love with someone they probably shouldn&rsquo;t be in love with. They have secrets you wouldn&rsquo;t believe. They wish and they dream and they hope, and they look out the window whenever they&rsquo;re in the car or on a bus or a train and they watch the people on the streets and wonder what they&rsquo;ve been through. They wonder if there are people like them. They&rsquo;re like you, and you could tell them everything and they would understand. <br /> And right now, they&rsquo;re sitting here reading these words, and I&rsquo;m writing this for you so you don&rsquo;t feel alone anymore.&rdquo;


So.
So,
So, I don't know what to say.

I know how I feel, but it is still too raw of a feeling to be turned even into art.

I'm a bit vulnerable, to be honest. I'm a bit naked. I'm a bit embarrassed. I'm a bit young. I'm a bit infatuated.
Maybe it's naïveté. It's hard to tame, even if it is.

I can't stand this constant nagging. From my heart, from my mind. I gave into my naked desire. And now I am paying the consequence.

It is a vulnerable and embarrassing feeling. It is not the type of thing I admit to myself often. On the other hand, rareness invites excitement.

But where do I start?

Where do I start to justify this? Can I justify this? I guess I have to leave that up to you. That's frightful. All I can ask is that you take me in open-mindedly.

I want to apologize to you for this, but I can't bring myself to apologize for how I feel. I know it is inconvenient. I know it's not fair. I know I should probably be keeping all this to myself. But you of all people will appreciate risk-taking. It wouldn't be fair of me to ask for your empathy, as much as I desire it.

The trust you gave me has been a gift. I have had the rare pleasure of meeting you from the inside out. I was attracted to your words before I had even seen your face. And you know something?

I like you.
I really, really like you.
I want you to take me in and see how easy it is to fall in love.

That is not easy to write.

I guess I am afraid of being another one of the many who have fallen after seeing your precious, good core. Another one of the many to mistake your words as carrying more warmth than they actually did. And now I’m afraid you'll have to inform me otherwise.
And I'm sorry to make you go through that.

But please…try not to feel too bad if you can. I am not revealing these things with the intention of bringing out your guilt, or even because there is a little part of me who hopes you feel mutually. I am simply telling you because I can no longer hold it in. Perhaps selfish, I'm honestly not sure. If nothing else, there is life contained in this confession. And any life experience holds some value.

Open ended and sticky and hard to approach, I know. I wish I could tie this up more elegantly. I wish I were discouraged enough to not send this, but risk taking is not an adventure intended for the thoughtful.

And baby, regardless of how you feel, I want you to know one thing:

You are worth a risk.



Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 0 comments.