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This article has 8 comments.
This is pretty good. . . It is kinda a play-it-safe poem. There has very few flaws, but there is also very little that can be done to improve it; it has hit it's roof. I would like to see some punctuation on those multi-line stanzas (You cry/you watch. . .) Strictly speaking, in academic poetry, there is no pause at the end of lines unless there is punctuation. You intended the spaces to act like punctuation and give it pause, but really, poetry is supposed to be read straight through enjambed lines. So the first paragraph would really sound like:
You cry You watch You learn You talk
Which is really messy. I would put ellipses or dashes or something. Good job though!
Would you look at some of my stuff, especially my poem in the forums under "Any Advice?" Thanks!