Hypothetically | Teen Ink

Hypothetically

October 30, 2011
By SpringRayyn PLATINUM, Lakeville, Minnesota
SpringRayyn PLATINUM, Lakeville, Minnesota
34 articles 2 photos 658 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't punish yourself," she heard her say again, but there would be punishment and pain, and there would be happiness too. That was writing."
--Markus Zusak, "The Book Thief"


I'm always there for you but who was there for me
When I dropped the baby on its head, metaphorically?
I was there for you, who was there for me?
When I jumped, did you say no? Hypothetically.
I was there, was always there but never there,
Impossible but true. How does it happen? Knowing truth. Monumentally.
Did I find me inside your mind ever in my life?
But never did I ask anything of you
You should have known what I wanted in the first place.
Laughing off the cliff I went, hysterically.
And wondered if you had yelled, "No!"
Hypothetically.



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This article has 11 comments.


on Nov. 1 2015 at 2:45 am
Ray--yo PLATINUM, Kathmandu, Other
43 articles 2 photos 581 comments

Favorite Quote:
God Makes No Mistakes. (Gaga?)
"I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right." -Liesel Meminger via Markus Zusac, "The Book Thief"

This is one of the most unique poems I've read on TI, Rayyn. I have always enjoyed your gloomy-ish yet incredibly powerful tone, and this one shows it brilliantly. Wonderful job.

on Oct. 25 2013 at 7:21 pm
SpeakerOfTheDead PLATINUM, Lemont, Illinois
27 articles 31 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
“How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.”
― Henry David Thoreau

This poem is cute. I actually laughed at the end. Haha.

on May. 4 2012 at 7:00 pm
IAmWhoIWantToBe PLATINUM, Manila, Other
41 articles 0 photos 650 comments

Favorite Quote:
‎"I’m learning how to drown out the constant noise that is such an inseparable part of my life. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world: I run my world." - Beyoncé

At first, it's kinda hard for me to follow this poem until I realize what this is about. I think this is well-written. My only wish is that you used another word instead of using hypothetically twice. One in the thrid line and one in the end. Other than that, I think it's good.

on Feb. 20 2012 at 12:26 pm
Eshshah PLATINUM, Galloway, New Jersey
32 articles 31 photos 239 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep." -Robert Frost

this is very good! I agree with pinkowl, I love the long words, they add a flavor a lot of poems lack. the words seemed chopped up though, but maybe that's the new format I'm still getting used to.

on Feb. 15 2012 at 5:58 pm
SteelJam BRONZE, Cheswick, Pennsylvania
3 articles 1 photo 19 comments
Oh my gosh! I loved this!

on Feb. 14 2012 at 5:29 pm
Behind_a_Plastic_Smile GOLD, Roseville, California
17 articles 1 photo 129 comments

Favorite Quote:
"if you're not 1st you're last"

wow this just has some amazing the rhythm and flow to it

on Dec. 10 2011 at 12:19 pm
SwallowedByInsanity PLATINUM, Hillsdale, New Jersey
22 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love is a poison, but it is also the antidote."

This is definitely going into my favorites, I can relate to your words and the metaphors are fantastic! Especially "I was there, always there but never there". Definitely the best line.

pinkowl BRONZE said...
on Nov. 25 2011 at 5:29 pm
pinkowl BRONZE, Tyrone, Pennsylvania
3 articles 0 photos 109 comments

Favorite Quote:
Jeremiah 29:11

 love the words like "hypothertically" and then "monumentally" they really give your poem power and flow!<3

on Nov. 8 2011 at 5:05 pm
Signed_DK SILVER, Declo, Idaho
5 articles 1 photo 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
There is no line between genius and insanity, I erased it.

Violence isn't the answer, it's the solution.

If we don't question what happens then how can we question what doesn't happen?

 

( I loved It!!!)


on Nov. 8 2011 at 5:13 am
kingofwriters BRONZE, DeWitt, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 196 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Books are a uniquely portable magic." - Stephen King

I love books, and I love technology, but I don't want to see the latter overwhelm the former. I just think books are meant to be pages you turn, not screens you scroll through.

Great poem! I liked the different words you used such as 'hypothetically' and 'metaphorically.

There were a few spelling mistakes here and there, but the poem is still very good! Keep it up! :)


on Nov. 7 2011 at 3:45 pm
HeatherBee BRONZE, I Live In, Texas
1 article 0 photos 1979 comments

Favorite Quote:
Go on and try to tear me down. I will be rising from the ground, like a skyscraper

Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect

I liked it a lot!!!! :) and Im not just sayin that cuz your my bud :) it really meant something to me in specific lines..